The Persistance of Memory
by KosagiNoLegion
Summary: The war is over. Beatrice is defeated. And somewhere, a memory lost is reborn. An AU Virginia and Janus fic.
1. Prologue: A World Reborn

**The Persistence of Memory **  
By  
Deborah J. Brown

A Wild Arms III Alternate Universe story: Wild Arms III is copyrighted to RPG Dreamers and Sony.

Author's Note: This is not, nor will any Wild Arms fic I write ever be, a Jet/Virginia fic. If your only interest is that sort of story, you won't find it here. Also, any reviews that have questions will be answered in my LJ in order to avoid turning my chapters into one long author's note. You can find my LiveJournal blog under the name KosagiNoLegion. (I'd post the URL but eats them.)

* * *

**_Prologue: A World Reborn _**

_White. As far as she could see a pure empty whiteness. _Bring back the world?_ She wondered. _How does one do that?_ She felt her father's presence all around her. Not so much guiding as encouraging her. This place contained all the memories of Filgaia. All the memories of her world and its people. Memories. That was it. Her memories and the memories of her companions. _

_The others. She needed them first. Clive, brilliant, incisive, and impetuous. Gallows, brave, childlike and caring. Jet, lonely, determined and filled with a kind of angry hope. Virginia could feel them, sense their presence. She knew them almost better than she knew her own kin. It was their memories and hers that would set the world back in motion. _

_Together now, the four drew on everything they had seen and experienced. They had traveled the whole world, met so very many people. Not every living being on the planet, certainly, but enough to get things started. The memories of those they restored could be used to restore more. Until every one who they knew to be alive would live again. Restoring Filgaia would be more difficult – Jet alone carried the memories of what the world should have been like and those memories would have to stand alone against everyone else's. At least to begin with the world would be what they remembered it to be; would be what had been recreated on that terrible day when the Council of Seven's attempt to restore the planet had gone so disastrously wrong. _

_Thinking back over her adventures, remembering the beginning, the first meeting with her friends, Virginia almost smiled. That fight with Janus Cascade. Other fights, other people met. Lives being reshaped and reborn, her memories and those of the others accessing them and restoring them to life. _

_She didn't know why, but her thoughts kept sliding back to Janus. It bothered her that he was still on her mind. She'd tried to forget about him, yet there was something about him that made it impossible for her to do so. _We killed him. Didn't we?_ Doubt assailed her. She remembered that last fight in Yggdrasil. Remembered the way he'd laughed, as if – even in a moment of defeat – he considered himself the victor. _No. I know him. He didn't die. He couldn't have._ She shook her head, forcing herself to stop thinking about him, about the horror he'd become. If only he'd been different. If he'd been the Janus Cascade she'd wanted him to be. Mind and heart were at war. The man had once been more like her – he himself had said so. Yet her memory showed him as he was. Cold, calculating and selfish. _

_At last, still confused and angry with herself and even angrier at Janus for that confusion, Virginia forced her thoughts away from the man, focusing once more on the restoration of all of Filgaia. _

_and somewhere, in heights of Yggdrasil, a demon opened his eyes and howled. _

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 1: The Devil in the Dark

**The Persistence of Memory **  
By  
Deborah J. Brown

A Wild Arms III Alternate Universe story: Wild Arms III is copyrighted to RPG Dreamers and Sony.

* * *

**_Chapter 1: The Devil in the Dark _**

"Damn, OUCH! damn, damn, YEOW! damn, damn! Aww (&$&#$(&#$(&!"

The muttered growls, grumbles and not at all well muffled curses echoed in the depths of the cavern known as the Den of Miasma, interspersed between sharp gasps of pain. The beasts that lived in that place were carefully avoiding the cave hidden in the depths and its sole occupant. They had long since learned to leave the source of the noise alone, lest they become its next meal. Only four living beings dared approach, and that with a certain level of caution.

"Well, if that doesn't prove it's something human," Gallows commented wryly, "nothing does." The Baskar tribesman coughed sharply as he avoided one of the poisonous creatures that clung to a grey stone floor, its acrid odor stinging the big man's nostrils, the bright pink color clear warning of deadly poison. The big man paused on the other side, bells in his braids jangling as he turned to wait for the others.

"The boy did not describe a human creature, however," Clive noted, clinically as he bombed a path through the things. "Hurry, Virginia, this type regenerates quickly." He settled his glasses, green hair looking more brown in the dim light.

"Thank you, Clive," Virginia Maxwell answered as she jumped past a group and regained her footing with the help of his steadying hand. "The description was familiar, though. Can't quite put my finger on it." She frowned as she straightened her skirts, pretty features serious, "Green scaly skin, fins on the arms, fangs and spiky purple hair."

It was Jet, whose memory of the recent past was much clearer for the fact that they were about the only real memories he _had_, who muttered, "Cascade."

Virginia swung around, staring at the white haired youth. "Janus Cascade? You're right! He's just the sort to have survived everything somehow." She shook her head, her mixed feelings about the Drifter turned demon leaving her – as always – confused and angry. From their first meeting until now she'd never quite known how to feel about the man.

_He's smart, gutsy and glib. If he weren't also sly, sneaky and selfish he could have been a friend._ There was more to it than that, but Virginia didn't really want to think about the other possibilities. She especially didn't want to think about the way those amber no, _yellow_ eyes would look at her, or the feelings that they inspired.

Forcing her thoughts away from that line, Virginia wondered what Janus was doing here. She hadn't seen him since that day in Yggdrasil tower, when they'd fought their way past him in order to halt the prophets' attempt to 'evolve' Filgaia. Janus' reasons for fighting were different from that of the prophets, he was more interested in trying to defeat Virginia and her companions for his own self-gratification. After having been balked at every turn, he apparently had come to regard Virginia as his best enemy. _What has he been up to since then? We thought we killed him, but._

Virginia was reminded of her certainty that he still lived, in those moments when the world was recreated by their memories. Whatever had happened to him must have left him incapacitated throughout their battles with Siegfried and the Dream Demon, Beatrice. One thing was certain. If he'd been in any state of mind to interfere, to try and turn the situation to serve his own selfish needs he would have. _He used to be a man of honor. If only he could be again. I want to believe he could be. Want to, and dare not. _

"If it _was_ Janus," Virginia said finally, "Then that kid was lucky to get away." She remembered the way the boy had come running into the inn at Ballack's Rise, crying in absolute terror. Admittedly he'd been up to mischief, exploring the cliffs to the north of the town in an area that was still heavily populated with dangerous beasts, but that didn't excuse the way Janus had jumped out at him, yelling incoherently as he picked the boy up and dragged him away. He'd been wearing a cloak and hood, but the boy's struggles had pulled the cloth free of his face, revealing the demonic features.

Virginia remembered those features only too well. Better, perhaps, than the features that Janus Cascade had been born with. Their last fights had impressed the demon Janus' appearance on her memory to the point that she barely remembered the sharply handsome man that Janus had once been. That thought had to be suppressed again, forced aside along with regrets that she simply refused to acknowledge. _Odd, though. If it _is_ him, the guardians aren't reacting._ Perhaps, then, it was just another monster.

"Almost there," Gallows said, drawing his ARMS and moving more slowly. The sounds of anger and pain and annoyance were echoing through the opening ahead of them.

"Hmmm. He seems to have made the nest of the goldrake his home," Clive murmured. He had – long ago now – been hired by the people of Ballack's Rise to handle the great poisonous beast and he knew the Den quite well because of that. "As I recall, there is a secondary exit from the main chamber. If we are to capture him, we must move quickly."

A howl of pain made Jet shake his head. "I doubt he even knows we're here."

"THE HELL I DON'T! GET OUT OF HERE! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU BUNCH OF." The curses that followed came close to setting the air on fire with their rancor. "SCAT PRINCESS! YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON ON FILGAIA I WANT TO TALK TO!"

.oOo.

He curled up, agony searing its way through his body. Senses far more receptive than human made him only too aware of _her_ presence. He could feel her through them, feel the pressure of her thoughts, the force of her regrets and her angers and her memories. He'd wanted to avoid her, wanted to keep as far from her as possible, but fate seemed to have different plans. _Maybe this was inevitable, anyway. _

The sound of someone stalking closer, into the cavern that surrounded his bolt-hole, echoed in the shadows. Anger flowed over him, almost enough to push the physical pain out of his thoughts. Anger that forced him to yell, "GO AWAY!"

"I will _not_!" Virginia growled. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Janus Cascade? You scared that boy out of ten years growth."

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the sound of Janus' breath, echoing harsh and angry in the depths of his sanctuary. "Oh. Good to hear it. That'll give his parents ten extra years to teach the little brat some manners. I hold absolutely no hopes of him achieving a lick of sense." He couldn't help but blame the boy for his current predicament.

Virginia didn't yell her response, but her anger was palpable. "Bastard."

"Yeah? And you're only _just_ coming to that conclusion, Princess?" A agonized groan accompanied his question, then a growl as Virginia stepped closer. "Back OFF, Princess!" The Dark Spear scraped the stone as he staggered to his feet, leaning desperately on it, trying not to fall. He glared out of the shadows at her, seeing the strength and annoyance in that face, lovely despite the faint tinge of green and pink cast by the luminescence in the cavern. He managed to growl through gritted teeth, "I told you. I don't want to talk to _you_."

Virginia shook her head. "What are you _up_ to, Janus? What kind of trouble are you trying to cause?"

An exhausted and exasperated sigh escaped Janus' lips. "Sugar doll. You're the one who unh should know. Now get the hell out and leave me alone." _Please go away, woman. You're only making it worse. I can think straight when you're not around me. _

"Not until you answer my question! Why'd you attack that kid?"

"Going to kill me if you don't get the right answer?" Janus asked sourly. "Going to come in after me? You got me trapped, Princess. There isn't a thing I can do right Awww shit OUCH! right now." The pain of his injury forced him to hold still again as he clutched at the Dark Spear and struggled to remain upright.

.oOo.

It was beginning to dawn on Virginia that something was wrong with her old enemy. _No. Tell the truth. You knew something was wrong when he started that yelling. You were just so pissed at him you didn't want to think about it._ "Come out of there."

"NO."

"We could always go in and drag him out," Gallows suggested, causing Jet to roll his eyes. "Well? I mean, he didn't actually hurt the kid. Unless we're going to just up and shoot him up from here, we either leave or we make him come out." He paused, adding, "Besides, I think he's hurt."

"What was your first clue?" Janus grumbled angrily. "Gods, Princess, how do you put up with that kind of stupidity?"

With a long slow breath, Virginia forced herself not to answer. Instead she marched forward, causing Janus to stand a bit straighter, swaying slightly as he glared out at her. "I told you to back off!" Ignoring the man's protests, Virginia kept walking, aware of her friends' concern, sensing them preparing to attack if Janus did anything at all that might hurt her.

Tense, almost certain that her cornered enemy would attack, Virginia could only hope that instinct was right, that Janus had hurt himself somehow and was simply too injured to fight. She climbed up into the hole, ignoring Janus' frantic orders for her to back off. His breath was coming fast and shallow now, as if he were terrified. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" The Dark Spear trembled in his outstretched hand.

"No." Virginia stepped up to Janus and pushed his hand down, feeling the hard scales through the fabric of her gloves. "You're hurt. Come out. Let us look at you."

A sob escaped Janus' lips. "Damn you."

"If you insist. Now come" She dodged backwards as Janus' left hand came up to backhand her. She would have attacked in return, reacting to the physical threat, but Janus' motion apparently put him entirely off balance, for he toppled forward with a frustrated growl of pain, landing against her and bringing them both down. The Dark Spear clattered to the ground, the sound echoing loudly in the close confines of the cave.

"Virginia!" Her friends leapt into the nest quickly, Gallows grabbing Janus off her and Clive helping her to her feet while Jet took up a guard position. Angrily, Gallows lifted Janus up off his feet and swung him up against the wall, eliciting a scream of anguish that set their ears ringing in the confines of the nest.

Startled, Gallows dropped their old enemy onto the ground, stepping back with his hands in the air. "I didn't do anything!"

If Janus' curses had been imaginative earlier, they practically blistered the air now. "WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU STUPID JERKS TO BLOODY WELL LEAVE ME ALONE!" he screamed at last, struggling to get his knees under him and failing. "JUST GO THE HELL AWAY!"

Clive lit a lantern, brightening the darkened area and revealing what Janus was so desperate to hide. "Oh dear" he whispered, while Jet fought back a snigger and Gallows guffawed outright. Even Virginia, while sympathizing with the transformed Janus' plight couldn't hold back the small giggle.

"Oh yes. It's a barrel of laughs. Couldn't get much more funny than this." Janus knelt with his head buried in the crooks of his arms, wrist fins bent at an awkward angle, entire body shaking. "Why don't you go sell some tickets while you're at it?"

Virginia bit her lip, staring down at her former enemy and at the cause his angry embarrassment. He had every reason for it, too. Somehow he'd run afoul of one of the beasts that haunted the cliffs and mountains in the area. Worse, he'd apparently been ambushed, for the damage was entirely to his backside. Long, fine, quills had turned his hind end into a literal pin cushion. There were hundreds of the things and his once beige, now grey and ripped, pants were stained a bright red. Over half of them were broken off, shattered by the force of Gallows' attempt to teach Janus some manners.

"What are they?" Jet asked after a long moment.

"Quills. Likely from a spiny pill bug. They're called a quiller out this way. A fairly rare and usually timid species, but dangerous to disturb." Clive knelt beside Janus. "The poison they inject would kill an ordinary human being. Obviously his demon nature saved his life, if not his dignity."

The low growl from Janus' throat would have been more terrifying if it hadn't been broken halfway through by a sob of agony. "You've had your laugh. Now. Get out. Go away and leave me alone."

Virginia looked at the others. Even Gallows, who'd found the situation most amusing, had a rueful expression on his face. "We can't. Let us help you."

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU BITCH! HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH TO SCREW UP MY LIFE?"

Virginia took a deep breath and looked at the others. On one hand, she hated to leave any living creature in pain. On the other, Janus Cascade had done more than enough to earn her enmity. "All right then. Fine. We will." To the utter surprise of her companions she jumped down and headed for the exit. After a moment the others joined her, their puzzled silence questioning. She shook her head, holding her hand up to tell them to wait.

Once the four had reached a quiet place, Virginia stopped to look at them. "He's got to realize he needs help," she said softly. "I think he'll be calling for us any minute now." She wished she sure about that. It was a question of whether Janus' masculine pride was stronger than his self-interest. She knew that she could count on the latter. Much as she might wish him to be otherwise, Janus was a self-serving, calculating, bastard. Once he realized that the only help he was going to get was from the one woman he hated most he'd change his tune. _At least enough to try and sweet talk me into getting his butt healed up._

"I dunno," Jet said. "He seems pretty mad at us. I wouldn't want t'place a bet on that."

"What's his beef, anyway? It's not like we went out of our way to beat him up," Gallows grumbled. "He got himself involved with those so-called prophets, after all. Everything that he got, he pretty much asked for. Double-crossing everyone in sight and just plain being a nuisance."

"While I agree with you whole-heartedly, it _is_ true that we have balked him at every turn. It is not, perhaps, surprising that he regards us with a certain amount of rancor. He is not a man to take frustrations well." Clive shook his head. "What I would like to know is why his demon form took so much damage from something so small. I would have thought him less easily injured, considering how much he seemed able to take from us."

Virginia shook her head. "I don't know," she whispered. "It doesn't matter. Let's wait him out."

.oOo.

The pain took entirely too long to subside, but in a way it was preferable to his awareness of _her_ sitting outside the cavern and waiting for him. Her belief in what he was, was an ache inside him that left him confused and unable to deal. It had been bad enough, waking up alone in Yggdrasil, unable to define himself and unable to defy the definitions that had been placed on him.

He'd tried, tried very hard to get past what had happened, tried to live up to all the expectations and – confused by what he ought to be and what he'd been – had been forced to hide away, to conceal himself from the rest of the world. Was it, he wondered, a matter of inevitable destiny that had brought him to cross paths with _her_ again, or was it simply a matter of ill-luck.

_Doesn't matter. Can't let her have her way. Got to get away. Got to lick my wounds somewhere else, where she isn't there to make me miserable._ He forced himself to his feet, feeling all too human sweat dribble down his scalp, salt stinging his skin. The mix of demon and human didn't work very well. His body was awkward, as if built by a committee that simply couldn't agree on what was and wasn't necessary. He ignored the pain, ignored the trembling exhaustion that said that he would be better off giving in, better off giving way to Virginia's expectations, and forced himself to move.

Using the Dark Spear as a prop, Janus stumbled slowly down the pathway, fangs gritted beneath the exo-skeleton grating that covered his mouth. They were agonizing, not made to fit a human mouth and he wondered why he needed them as he struggled to make his way out. She'd be there, of course, he couldn't help but pass her, but he was _not_ going to ask for help.

As Janus stepped out into the cool night air a step attracted his attention. Virginia stood forward. "Well, it's about time you" She stopped as Janus turned a look he knew to be terrible on her. _I don't want your help. I'll throw myself into the abyss rather than accept it._ "Janus I"

He turned away, continuing down the path, silent and radiating fury. Every motion was agony, will alone was holding him to his course. "Where the hell are you _going_?"

Janus ignored Virginia's question, stumbling and falling over several rocks and struggling to find his feet again. Only when Virginia rushed close to him did he pause to growl, "Got places to go and no one to see. Leave me _alone_, Princess. Go find someone else to inflict your good deeds on. You've done quite enough for me as it is." He stumbled, gasped in pain and tried in vain to break free when Virginia reached out to steady him. "I mean it! I don't want anything more to do with you! _Just leave me the hell alone_!" He flailed at her, pathetically weak.

.oOo.

Glancing over at Gallows, Virginia mouthed the word 'sleep' at her companion. It took the big Baskar a mere moment before he nodded, lifting his hand and casting a sleep spell. Virginia wasn't certain it would work, but she thought that – as badly injured and exhausted as Janus was right then – it had a reasonable chance at success. She wasn't disappointed. With barely a sigh, Janus collapsed and Virginia barely caught him before he fell backwards and did more damage to himself.

"Now what do we do?" Jet asked. "We can't take him back to Ballack's Rise. Not looking like that."

Virginia shook her head. "We're going to have to. Those quills have to come out. I don't think we can do that here. Not when we could get attacked any minute by the other critters in this place. They may have been lying low because of him and all his wailing but now they're going to be on the prowl."

Clive looked consideringly at the unconscious figure. "While we could cover him up, I think it might be wiser to let the people in the town know that we are bringing him in. They're already accepting a lot, allowing us to stay when there's a price on our heads. We shouldn't push their tolerance by sneaking what they will see as a monster into their town."

Though she would have liked to disagree, Virginia could see Clive's logic. "All right. Let's go, then. Gallows, please make sure he doesn't wake up again. Jet, you and I will go ahead and do some talking. Clive? Do you think you can carry him?"

Pulling the limp form over his shoulder, Clive nodded. "He's not especially heavy. I'll be fine. Let's go."

.oOo.

Janus was dimly aware of being carried. The spell Gallows had used was powerful – apparently he'd gained some strength since the last time they'd met – but Janus' body wasn't entirely human and wasn't as susceptible to such magics as a human's would be.

The nice thing about being stunned, though, was that the pain in his rear wasn't quite so agonizing. Blanketed by Gallow's sleep spell he could let go of the pain, maybe even get a bit of rest in. Relaxing into the circumstances seemed to be the only option.

_Not that it's much of an option._ A part of him, he wasn't sure which part, hated the situation, hated being helpless and forced to submit to Virginia's decisions. He was torn, though, between wanting to gain her regard and the recognition that he couldn't possibly do so, that he wasn't the man he used to be. Not when he was such a mixed up confusion of memories and desires.

"So, why do you think our leader's so interested in him?" Gallow's voice seemed to come from a distance, though he knew the big Baskar with the white streaked hair was standing right beside him, renewing the sleep spell anytime he stirred more than a few inches. It was convenient, actually. If the pain got too bad he groaned, acted like he was going to wake and Gallows would send him back into the depths to wait for the next wave to carry him back up onto the beach.

"I admit to having suspicions," Clive murmured. "However, I think it should be up to our Leader to determine what she feels. We should not interfere, simply support her as needed."

_All well and good, green-hair,_ Janus thought wryly. _Given she ever figures out what she feels._

To Be Continued...


	3. Chapter 2: Aiding and Abetting the Enemy

**The Persistence of Memory **  
By  
Deborah J. Brown

A Wild Arms III Alternate Universe story: Wild Arms III is copyrighted to RPG Dreamers and Sony.

* * *

**_Chapter 2: Aiding and Abetting the Enemy _**

"We found the person who attacked Mason." Virginia looked at the men and women of Ballack's Rise with a worried expression. "He's been badly injured by a quiller. We'd like to bring him in to get medical treatment."

"A quiller?" Mason's father, the middle-aged man who ran the ARMS shop frowned. "Hey, Judith, didn't you say Mason's jacket had a quill stuck in it?"

The old woman nodded. "Scolded that boy but good for getting anywhere near a nest. He said he didn't see one and didn't know how the quill got there. Musta been near the nest when that whatever it is attacked him."

Virginia frowned. "In his jacket?" She wondered if it were at all possible that Janus had been rescuing the kid from an unseen danger and decided that such an idea was ludicrous. It wasn't Janus' way to go off saving children from themselves. Janus was more likely to have laughed at the kid when he got quilled and told him it was his own fault for not having kept his eyes open. She shrugged the thought away. "The problem is, he really does look like a monster. He's in pretty bad shape, though and the four of us have beat him before. We can keep him from causing trouble, but we don't want to bring him into town if you don't want us to."

There was a long silence but, very slowly, the townspeople nodded. "You keep him under control, though. Anything he does here is your responsibility."

Virginia bowed in relief.

.oOo.

It took hours to remove the spines buried in Janus' rear. There were hundreds of the things, some thrust deep, others simply caught in the fabric of his pants. If Gallows hadn't been renewing the sleep spell he would have been screaming in pain as Clive and the town's doctor found and carefully slid each tiny spine free from Janus' flesh. Janus took advantage of Gallows' ability a bit more than might have been necessary, but he felt he could be forgiven. He'd been in agony for far too long not to value this respite.

_Would have helped if this body wasn't such a mixed up mess,_ he thought bleakly, waiting for Gallows' next spell and whimpering a little as Virginia wiped sweat from his face. The spines wouldn't have injured a body covered entirely with the scales that armored his arms and legs, but most of his body, that part that had once been hidden by his clothing, was generally human. The color was green tinted, but the skin was softer and easily damaged. Thus many of the quills had pierced deep into the flesh.

At last Janus sensed Clive sit back. "I think that does it," he said quietly. "It helps that his wounds heal so quickly. I just hope they didn't heal over a broken off piece. That could get nasty for him later."

The thought sent a shudder through Janus, quickly settled as Gallows sent him deeper again. Admittedly, the tiny pieces wouldn't be fatal, might not even cause an infection in a body so transformed as his was, but he knew what it was like to get a tiny splinter stuck so deep that it couldn't be pulled out. The thought of even one remaining stuck in his posterior wasn't a pleasant one.

"What about the poison?" Virginia's voice asked, muted by the depths to which Gallows' spell had sunk Janus.

"I've tried giving him an antidote," the town's healer said quietly. "Though I am not at all sure it helped any. His body is so peculiar that I have no idea what's good for it and what's not."

Virginia's voice held a world of agreement. "That's for sure. I wonder how he eats with that weird grill-work over his mouth?"

_Sugar-doll, you _don't_ want to know,_ Janus thought as he drifted deeper. Not a true sleep, not when there was so much pain searing his system, but the closest thing to rest that he could possible get. At least the worst of the ordeal was over. _The physical part at least._

"What do we do with him now?" Jet asked. "Can't exactly turn him in, considering our own situation." He sounded put out and Janus would have grinned wryly if he wasn't so deep. "Besides, as far as I know, he isn't a wanted man."

"I'm not really sure," Virginia admitted and Janus could feel her opinions of him flowing over his Self. She knew that she couldn't trust Janus Cascade, that if he could find a way to turn a situation to his advantage he would. "I suppose we'll have to wait until he's better. One of us should stay with him, just in case he tries something when he wakes up."

There was silence from the others and Virginia continued, plaintively, "What do _you_ think I should do?"

"I don't know either," Jet admitted. "If we were going to shoot his brains out – such as they are – we should have done it back at the cave." He sighed. "So, who gets to watch him first?"

.oOo.

The worst part of Janus' ordeal came late at night, while Virginia was on duty. The poison in his system might not have killed him, but it sent him into a raving delirium. Most of what the man muttered seemed meaningless. Gasps of pain, mixed with incoherent words. "Bastards Stupid _why_? Everything every_one_ gone. Wiped away Changed... Keziah... ...damn you to hell, Bryant..." The last was a broken whisper, a sob of pain from a soul that might shatter any moment.

Putting a hand on Janus' forehead, Virginia realized that he was burning up with fever. Tossing and turning, the Drifter turned demon growled and cursed, thrashing wildly. At Virginia's touch, however, he opened his yellow eyes and blinked blearily at her. "Ginny." His voice was low, raw and hoarse. "Sweet, darling, Ginny. So beautiful. So very beautiful."

Wondering who Janus thought he was seeing, Virginia got up and soaked a cloth in water. "Shhh. Don't try to talk," she told him. "You need to rest."

On the demon face, the smile he tried to give her was strangely pathetic, a rictus grin that failed utterly to convey the pleasure he obviously wanted it to show. There was something horribly sad and pitiable about the expression that it hurt for Virginia to look at him. "So brave. So strong. Love you so much I can't stand to look at you." He turned his face away.

"Go to sleep, Mr. Cascade." Virginia wished she knew who he was talking to. Wished she understood the man at least somewhat better. There were so many things that had shaped him. The life of a Drifter had twisted him in ways that had left him utterly unable to care about anyone but himself. _What was he like before? What made him into this conscienceless monster?_ She watched him close his eyes and continued wiping his forehead as he slowly drifted back into sleep.

.oOoOoOo.

"So, Janus Cascade. What am I supposed to do with you?" Virginia sat across from the man leaning against the wall, keeping her eyes resolutely on his face and obviously trying to ignore the fact that most his demonic body looked more like that of a human male – aside from the coloring – than the scaled monster. The slight pink tint to her cheeks, among other clues, made it clear to Janus that she wasn't exactly unmoved by the sight.

_Of course, it probably doesn't help that all I'm wearing are these lousy oversized shorts._ The things had had to be tied tightly around his waist to keep them from slipping down to reveal far more of him than Virginia apparently wanted to see. _As if she hadn't already when they were healing me up._

Arms crossed over his chest, Janus shrugged. "I gotta idea. I go back to my cave sweet cave and you go on your merry way and never the twain shall meet again." He had low hopes of this working out. Virginia had a way of pushing things into the direction she thought they ought to go and leaving someone hiding out in a cave wasn't something she'd consider reasonable. Especially someone she didn't trust as far as she could throw.

Virginia shook her head angrily. "No. I leave you on your own and the next thing I know you'll be trying to take over the world again. Or getting into some sort of mischief." She glared into Janus' eyes as he watched her with a sarcastic air. He could feel her conviction that he always managed to get under her skin and find every button that she had to push. _Wish I _could_ play you like a flute, sweetheart. Then I could get things fixed and make it all better. If only._ "You've caused me more than enough trouble."

"So? Why did you go and drag me here?" He spread his hands, face thrust towards her angrily. He hated the situation. Hated the way she looked at him. Hated what she did to him whenever he was near her. Hated it and wanted it at the same time. _I need her but I can't have what I need. Not when the price is so high._ "You think I'm going to be that much trouble you should have shot me in the head back at the cave." Virginia's brows drew together in a frown and he realized he might have made an error, using the same phrase Jet had used the night before.

"That is not how we operate, Mr. Cascade," Clive said quietly from his position near the window. He, like Gallows and Jet, were keeping their hands on their ARMS and their eyes on the demonic Drifter. "We can't kill a person out of hand like that."

"I'm sure you don't understand that," Gallows continued. "But we have some principles."

"Oh yeah," Janus grumbled. "Principles. And are those principles goin' to help you decide what to do with me? I'm not the one with a price on his head right now. So you either kill me or you let me go." He grinned humorlessly at the group. Principles were what had made him what he was, after all. Principles and circumstances entirely out of his control. _And that I hate more than anything else, the knowledge that – in the end – all I am is a puppet on a string. Again. _

"Or he comes with us," Jet interjected quietly.

.oOo.

Virginia watched the others do double-takes. She wasn't quite so startled at the idea. There wasn't much else they _could_ do, after all. Leaving Janus wandering around free wasn't possible. There was no way they could turn him in when there was no one actually wanting him for any crime and – finally – killing him was simply not an option under the current circumstances. If anything, she felt relieved that it was Jet who'd proposed it, rather than herself.

"Kid, have you got a screw loose or something?" Janus stared at the boy in frank amazement. "Me? Go with you lot?"

Jet nodded. "Way I see it, Virginia needs someone new to reform, now that she's got me all nice and goody two-shoes. You'd make a perfect fix-me-upper."

Now it was Virginia who did the double-take. "Jet!" she protested, but saw the twinkle in his eyes that said that he was joking. _At least I _hope_ he's joking._ He grinned and shrugged at her.

Gold eyes closed momentarily with a look of utter pain and disgust. _Well, as much pain and disgust as a face that doesn't convey much in the way of emotion can show._ Then, with obvious effort, Janus seemed to regain control over himself. "All right. Three things. One – Do you honestly think you can drag me around with you if I don't want to go? Two – What makes you think I _want to_ to be reformed? Three – In case you hadn't noticed, I sorta stand out in a crowd. Considering you four already have a price on your heads, why drag someone along who looks like _this_?" Janus spread his arms out in a wild gesture at his face and body. "Well?"

Puzzled, Virginia couldn't help but ask, "Well, why don't you go back to the old you? You were able to do that before." She'd figured he'd gotten caught by the quiller halfway through the change and the pain had made it impossible for him to shift either way. "You may not have been very good looking, but it was a long sight better than what you look like now."

"Sweetheart, you don't even remember what I looked like then," Janus growled.

That startled Virginia, especially when she realized just how true it was. She had a vague impression of a sharply pointed pale face, of pale blue tinted hair, but nothing much beyond that. _Well, aside from his eyes and those haven't changed._ Those golden irises still gazed at her with a peculiar mix of sardonic disdain and ironic humor – and some other emotion that she never had identified. Not wanting to admit how well he'd scored, Virginia shrugged. "Maybe so, but that still doesn't explain why you don't make an effort to look human again. Afraid someone will recognize you?"

.oOo.

Janus sighed expressively. "No, Princess. I don't look human because I _can't_. What you see here is what you get. A bit stronger than humans. A bit faster. Got regeneration down pat. Nothing can kill me – at least as far as I can tell nothing can. Even that thing," he gestured at the Dark Spear, "isn't as powerful as it ought to be. You could probably take me on in a one on one and blow me away without too much trouble. Want to give it a try?" He half hoped she would. It would solve so much, if she took him out of the picture. _Hope it and fear it at the same time. It's not much of a life. Pretty much the least a life can be and still be called a life. But it's mine, damnit. It's all I have left. _

Closing her eyes for a long moment apparently did nothing to make Virginia feel less like smacking Janus upside his pointy haired skull and he grinned at her expression. "No. I do _not_." She sighed. "All right, so you're stuck like that. Then you can stay out of towns when we go in for supplies."

"Or even better, Princess. We can part ways right here and now and never meet again!" Janus stepped forward, ignoring the way the others straightened. Couldn't she understand? He didn't want to be near her. Didn't dare to be. Not after what she'd done to him.

"As for your other questions. I don't expect to reform you. I have absolutely no hope of reforming someone as incorrigibly troublesome as _you_ are." He stared into her eyes, half-angry, half achingly sad and saw her wince, felt her pang of uncomprehended guilt. She had done this to him and while she didn't know it, her subconscious did and wasn't going to let her rest. _Damn her and her 'Justice' anyway._ She continued, "Not unless you were willing to change and I don't see that happening."

"I'm what you make of me, Princess. Just exactly what you make of me." Janus couldn't meet her eyes. It hurt too much. He turned away. "So, that still leaves the question of what makes you think I'd come?"

It was Jet who answered. "Because you aren't the sort to like living all by yourself in a cave. Face it, Cascade. You don't come with us you'll be all alone for the rest of your life – and weakness aside, how long do you think that's likely to be, considering you regenerate?"

.oOo.

Silence followed Jet's question and it seemed obvious to Virginia that Janus had no satisfactory answer. The demonic head was lowered and the fists were clenched tightly with some unknown emotion. Sensing a chance at coming out on top for once, she pressed the point. "C'mon, Janus. Are you trying to tell me that you like living like that? Hiding away from people? Forced to eat the Gods know what? I may not be able to remember your face very well but the Janus I remember wouldn't have wanted to slink off with his tail between his legs like this."

Janus shrugged. "Yeah? Maybe so, but that doesn't mean I'd want to hang around you either, Princess."

Exasperation filled Virginia and she shook her head. "You act like _I'm_ to blame for your situation."

"Really? You think?" Janus mocked. "What makes you think you aren't?"

Gallows put a hand on his shoulder. "Look. Everything that happened back then was your choice. You chose to betray everyone you came in contact with. You chose to work with people like those prophets. You chose power over everything else."

Looking at the hand on his shoulder, then at Gallows, Janus raised what passed for a brow on his face. "Move it or lose it," he growled and as Gallows, after a moment's hesitation, did so, continued, "As for all that, yeah. I'll take the blame if that's what you want. I know what I was exactly as well as you do. But that's not what I'm talking about."

"Then what?" Virginia's question was plaintive. She wanted to say that his anger at her didn't bother her, but it did. It was really beginning to hurt that he seemed to regard her with such rancor. "What exactly did _I_ do that messed up your life?"

Once again those golden eyes met Virginia's. Once again she found herself unable to breath momentarily, shocked by the expression in them and unable to identify it. Once again she simply stared as he said, "Ginny, when you figure it out you can come and tell me."

It took Virginia a second or so to catch her breath. "What did you call me?"

The mocking look in Janus' eyes answered her question. A look that waited, confidently, for her response. _So, that's all that was last night. An effort to manipulate me again. To make me think I could reach the soft part of him. All he wanted was to make me do things _his_ way. I bet he wants us to take him with us after all. He used that nickname to make me think he loves _me_ so that I'll force him to come along._ She didn't know why it hurt so much but it made her all the angrier. Before he could say anything more, she flung her hands up. "Fine. If that's what you want, then go. Go back and snuggle into your little cave and never ever come out to face the light of day. I thought you had more pride than that, but obviously I was wrong."

Rather to her surprise, the satisfied look didn't change. "Good. Then I'll be on my way." Janus turned to pick up a blanket off the bed. "Guess my outfit was ruined? Yeah, figured. Don't really need it anyway. Not like I'm Going to be hanging out in polite society, after all." He wrapped the blanket around him, tossing one corner over his shoulder with an insouciant gesture. "Ta ta, kids. It's been nice knowin' you." With that, he walked towards the door.

"_Hold it_!" Virginia grabbed Janus by the elbow, feeling the demarcation between the scaled flesh and the human thru the fabric of her gloves.

"What is it _now?_" Janus demanded, heaving a huge sigh and glaring at the door, refusing to look at her. At Virginia's hesitation, he pulled his arm free and grabbed the handle. "Give it up, Princess. I am _not_ coming with you."

"Then we'll follow _you_."

Four pairs of eyes blinked at Virginia but it was Janus who shouted, angrily in her face, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO PROVE? YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE SITTING OUTSIDE MY LITTLE CAVE THEN BE MY FLIPPING GUEST!" He pulled the door off its hinges with the force of his anger, glared at it for a long moment, then set it aside with almost elaborate care and stalked out. From somewhere on the stairs they heard him growl, "Get out of my way, kid! And next time stay away from quiller nests!"

There was a long moment of silence, interrupted only momentarily by the town's Mayor, looking in to make sure everyone was all right. Seeing the group's expressions, and the door ripped off its hinges, however, he very carefully left them to their thoughts.

"Er Virginia?" Clive gave her a questioning look. "Did you mean that?"

"I think he's up to something. I don't trust him and I don't want him where I can't keep an eye on him. He's been doing everything he can to manipulate me into something. I don't know what but I want to find out." Virginia gave the others an apologetic look. "If you don't want to be involved, I'll understand. But someone has to keep that man out of trouble."

It was Jet who asked, "Any particular reason why it has to be you?" There was something pointed about the question, as if he were implying something. At Virginia's shrug, he sighed. "Well, it's not like we have anything pressing to do – aside from working on a way to convince the Ark of Destiny people we didn't kill Lamium."

Virginia nodded. "And that's something we still have to work out, so we can talk about it while we keep an eye on him." She looked at the others and was relieved when both Clive and Gallows agreed.

.oOoOoOo.

The fire crackled as Virginia poked it with a stick, pushing the logs into a better position. Across from her, Gallows was gnawing on a chicken bone, while Clive and Jet vied with each other over a makeshift chessboard. Clive had taught the younger man the game, having determined that Gallows was utterly hopeless and that Virginia – though well meaning – simply lacked the interest. Jet found it intriguing enough that while he wasn't yet able to beat Clive he was showing signs of future skill – much to Clive's satisfaction.

Cocking her head, Virginia glanced upwards. The shadows were thick and deep, but she was pretty sure that they had company. Somewhere up in the clefts of the rocks, something moved stealthily. Something that – she suspected – had green skin and scales, purple hair and the most incredible yellow eyes. It wasn't the first time that Janus had spent the evening watching them. If anything, she was almost sure that he'd been there every night for the last two weeks. Each night coming a little closer, as if daring her to notice, daring her to react. She'd very determinedly refused to do so.

"Y'know," Gallows said. "I still have no clue how we can convince the Ark of Destiny people that we didn't kill Lamium."

"The difficulty being that once people are convinced of something they're very hard to unconvince," Clive answered. "Er Jet, I don't think that you want that move."

"Awww, damn. Yeah, I forgot. King can't threaten King, can they? What _is_ a King anyway? In fact, what are knights, queens, bishops castles? The only name I recognize is pawn."

That was probably because if anyone knew about being pawns it was the four of them. Virginia shrugged. "They've been the terms we've used forever," she said. "I think King must be some sort of ruler."

"Like 'President' Maya?" Gallows laughed.

Now Virginia was sure Janus was watching them. Ever so faintly, half-hidden by the night sounds, she was certain she heard a small snort. Apparently he found Maya's plans for the future as hilarious as Gallows did. Virginia wasn't so sure she liked what Maya wanted to do. The Drifter girl was trying to become the ruler of Filgaia, one town at a time. She'd started in Claiborne, but so far word was that she'd had little success convincing anyone that it was a good idea.

"Something like that," Clive agreed quietly. "Check and mate, Jet."

"Awww, damn. Lost again. Someday I'm going to get around that defense of yours." Jet sighed, leaning over to grab a piece of chicken from the plate. "Another game?"

Clive nodded. "It's almost time to sleep, but we can start one up if you'd like."

Virginia got to her feet. "I think I'd like to take a little walk. I won't go far."

"Yell if you run into trouble," Gallows answered and Virginia nodded. If there was anything she appreciated about her companions it was their confidence in her abilities. They would come to her aid if she called them, but they didn't fall all over themselves trying to keep the weak female out of trouble either.

Walking into the darkness, Virginia let her eyes settle enough to allow her to see where she was going. Carefully avoiding looking in the direction where she was certain Janus was hiding, she moved away from the campsite and sat down on some rocks. She had a lot to think about.

The problem was, all this sitting around was getting boring. Janus hadn't made a single move out of his cave, aside from his forays to watch them from the shadows. _Considering how annoyed he is with us, I'm surprised he hasn't tried to sneak off._ Irritated with herself for having returned to the subject of Janus rather than considering how to get the group off the Ark of Destiny people's wanted list, Virginia shook her head. It was as if the man was becoming an obsession for her, one that interested her far more than in making sure her team was taken care of.

_So why _is_ that?_ Virginia forced herself to look at her motives, even though doing so hurt. _The truth of the matter is, I wanted very much to like him. I want to find some reason to like him again. But I'm afraid to. I know him too well by now. He's betrayed me too often._ Well, to tell the truth, he only actively betrayed her the once, but Virginia couldn't help but feel that once was once too often.

Then there was the question of Janus' motives. There was no doubt in Virginia's mind that the Drifter-turned-demon could have slipped off any time. He seemed to know the hills better than any of them and she was beginning to suspect that there were hidden passages in the caves where he lived that no one but other monsters knew about. Possibly some that only someone in his condition could reach.

He was doing absolutely nothing. Waiting her out, no doubt, but what would he do if she left? And why, if he hated the sight of them, did he spend so much of his time watching them? Night time wasn't the only time she'd spotted movement where none should be, not the only time when she'd had the strong feeling of being watched. _The way I feel now. He's watching me. Not the others. What _is_ he up to?_

"Janus?" Virginia kept her voice low, not wanting to draw the others' attention and fairly sure that the demon could hear her.

There was silence for a long moment. Then she thought she heard something moving in the rocks above her. A voice spoke, as quietly as her own. "What?"

"Why? Why do you hate me so?" Virginia wasn't sure why her tone sounded so plaintive but she really wished it didn't.

.oOo.

Janus watched the slender figure, his night vision showing her clearly. _So damned beautiful_. "I don't hate you." His tone was flat, emotionless, but only due to an immense effort at control. "I told you before. When you understand what it is you did to me, _then_ we can talk about it. And I _ain't_ telling. Your a smart girl, Ginny. Figure it out."

Apparently that struck Virginia as patently unfair and she said so, much to Janus' amusement. His short sharp laugh echoed in the darkness. "Yeah. It ain't fair, is it? But then, that's what you think I am, right? Something utterly unfair and not very nice. No matter how much you might _want_ me to be different." _If only wanting alone could make me what you need. If only wanting alone were what _I_ need. _

She shook her head, obviously not wanting to make such an admission, no matter how true. "Why? Why not just answer my question?"

"Do you trust me? Do you believe one word I say? Didn' think so. So if I outright _tell_ you whatcha did to me – and it ain't the fact that you beat me at every turn – then you won't believe it. Y'all will think I'm tryin' to work things out t'my benefit." Virginia peered into the darkness at him, frowning at his words, at what little she could see of his monstrous distortion of demon and human flesh and he sighed, adding, "'Course, truth is, I am. I always do. You know that." Second guessing oneself had to be the worst part of his situation. Never knowing if what he was doing was because _he_ wanted to, or because he was made to, dancing to the tune of the puppet master.

"I know it. I don't want you to be like that."

Janus laughed softly. "Tell me something I don't know." A faint motion, a shrug, was visible in the shadows. "Goin' hunting now, Princess. You should go back to the others. I'm not the only monster out here."

"If you're hungry."

"Can't eat cooked meat anymore. Don't worry, Princess. I'm a quick killer. I don't go in for the long slow tortures." A small chuckle escaped Janus' lips. "Messy, though, so don't follow me." It was a pain trying to eat, really. His mouth wasn't really made to bite things in a normal fashion, forcing him to subsist on what bits of flesh he could rend with his fingers and stuff between the exoskeleton grill that covered his mouth.

The sound of his moving away was soft, but he wasn't really trying to hide his steps. Just as he got about five yards away, Virginia called out, "Wait. Janus?"

"Hmmm, Princess?"

"We're going to be moving on tomorrow. There's no point in sticking around here and we have things to do." The decision had obviously come suddenly and Janus wasn't sure if he was glad or sorry. _Sorry. Oh gods I can't live like this. How can I stand this? All alone. _

"Oh." The word had a depth of meaning to it but he hoped Virginia couldn't figure out what. "As you wish, Princess. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go teach a few quillers a lesson." Then he was gone.

To Be Continued...


	4. Chapter 3: Into the Light

**The Persistence of Memory **  
By  
Deborah J. Brown

A Wild Arms III Alternate Universe story: Wild Arms III is copyrighted to RPG Dreamers and Sony.

* * *

**_Chapter 3: Into the Light _**

"That's not the worst of it though. I'm almost certain he followed us here." Virginia sipped at her drink and looked at the blonde girl sitting across from her. "I wish I could figure out what was going on in his head." The two girls were in the bar at Little Twister, one of the few towns where Virginia could be certain that the price on her head wasn't going to end her and the others up dragged off to face the Ark of Destiny people. Not until she could find a way to prove to them that her group was innocent.

Maya Schrodinger looked pensive, then smiled sweetly. "That's so romantic." At Virginia's blank stare, the girl grinned. "Well? It's just like a novel."

"A. Novel." Virginia stared at her friend with a feeling of disbelief. Maya _would_ think in those terms. The Schrodinger girl's special skill at copying the skills and abilities of fictional characters meant that she had absorbed far too much in the way of questionable plot devices and ideas about how the world should be. "Honestly, Maya."

"Think about it, Virginia. He's following you around for a reason. He obviously wants _something_ from you." Maya's blue eyes met Virginia's directly. "And can you really claim not to feel some sort of interest in him? Even if he _does_ look like something out of a horror comic right now?"

Virginia sighed. "Maya, are you suggesting he's in love with me or something?"

For a moment Maya considered that. "I guess it _is_ pretty corny. But didn't he say so? Or have you decided that's all because he's got some idea in his head that needs your cooperation? He must need you for something, because if he's as mad as you say he is with you, why hasn't he just outright attacked you?"

Swallowing her drink, Virginia shrugged. "I think he's manipulating me. This isn't the first time he's tried to trick me into cooperating." She gazed at the scarred surface of the table. "I just wish I knew what."

Maya's fingers tapped the table consideringly. "Okay. Let's take the line of thought that he _isn't_ in love with you. What do you have that he could want? What has he told you?"

"All he's ever said is that it's my fault he's what he is. Which is ridiculous." Virginia shook her head. "Even he admits that he did everything to himself. I didn't change him into that monster – the Prophets did that. " There was silence from Maya, a strange, considering silence. "What? You think I did?"

"I'm wondering. It isn't so much what he did before. It's what he is now that matters. So what _is_ he? Not a demon – not like that overgrown blue tank we dealt with. You say that he says the Dark Spear isn't as powerful as he suspects it ought to be. So why?"

"How in the world could _I_ have anything to do with that?" Virginia demanded.

"Maybe you should ask him again."

Rolling her eyes, Virginia grumbled, "I did. He says I have to figure it out."

"Ask until he says something that gives you enough of a clue. I know you. You've got the obstinacy of a rutting bull when it comes to getting answers. So go out there and make him talk. He'll either have to go away – which would solve the problem one way – or answer."

Annoyed at Maya's turn of phrase, Virginia got to her feet. "Fine. I will."

.oOoOoOo.

"I already told you, Princess. I'm not answerin'."

"Why not?" This was about the third go around in the dialogue for what Jet was beginning to refer to as the nightly comedy routine. The others, while not hanging around too closely during Virginia's attempts to work Janus into answering her questions, were staying somewhere in the area. Just in case she drove the half-demon to the point of attacking her, just to shut her up.

_I'm pretty damned close to it, too. Why won't she just stop and think about it, instead of expecting me to explain?_ "Because you won't believe me, Princess." Janus was trying to be patient, but the effort was nearly impossible. Virginia was incredibly stubborn, an attribute that Janus both loved and hated.

"Well, I don't believe _that_ at all. Try me." Virginia sat on the rock and glared at Janus where he was hiding amid the shadows.

"No." The answer was flat and un-changeable. _As if I think by repeating it often enough she'll be convinced. Damn but she's a stubborn broad. _

"All right, then let's talk about something else. What happened to you after our last fight?"

A low growl echoed in the darkness. "Isn't it obvious I must have got my ass kicked from here to eternity by something? Since you didn't see me afterwards?" The memory of that fight was clear in his mind, his last fight with Virginia, the last time he'd seen her. Anything after that, though, was a mystery.

"Asgard?"

"Huh? I sent that overgrown pile of junk off on a one way trip." Janus was puzzled that Virginia would even think that he'd met up with the big guy again. The Prophets' golem ought to have been floating somewhere in time, lost for eternity.

Virginia shook her head. "No, after Siegfried showed up, Asgard returned. He'd just turned himself off and waited until the time was right."

Janus shrugged. "Well, I'll be damned." _And who the devil was this Siegfried anyway? I have the strangest feeling I should know._ A sharp pain that went through his back to his stomach made him wince and he was very glad that Virginia couldn't see his face.

.oOo.

Peering into the shadows, Virginia watched the demonic figure play with a piece of wood he was using to sharpen his claws on. "So, what happened? _Was_ it Siegfried who 'kicked your ass from here to eternity'?"

Another shrug. "Guess so. Whoever this Siegfried was. I really dunno."

Annoyance was beginning to get the better of Virginia's good sense. She glared into the darkness, hoping her expression was perfectly readable by Janus' eyes. "You are the most obstinate, self-absorbed, sarcastic pain in the butt _jerk_ it has ever been my misfortune to meet."

"Yeah? Well, so it goes." There was a sharp edge to the man's voice, an anger that meant their nightly 'conversation' was likely to end rather abruptly sometime soon. If the two of them had rooms and doors to slam they would have. "I'm just exactly whatcha want me to be."

"I WANT YOU TO BE AT LEAST REASONABLY HONEST WITH ME YOU STUPID JACKASS!" It was rare for Virginia to yell, but there was something about Janus that simply made it impossible for her to do anything else. Her voice echoed thru the hills, causing the others to look up curiously, then go back to their business.

"IF YOU WANTED ME TO BE HONEST THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT A BIT MORE CLEARLY ABOUT IT WHEN YOU WERE PUTTING ME BACK TOGETHER!" There was a sudden sharp gasp and Virginia thought she saw him slap his hand across his mouth. A muttered "Awww, _damnit_!" escaped the man's lips. Then he was gone, loping off into the darkness so fast that she barely saw the shadowy movement.

.oOoOoOo.

"Sure it's possible." Maya propped her feet up on a rock and gazed out at the sand dunes while her brother and the cat, Shady, ran past them. Her fourth partner, Todd, was playing chess with Jet while Clive and Gallows were working on lunch. "I was pretty hard put to keep you from rewriting me when you brought everything back."

Virginia stared at Maya. "You know what I did?"

"Honey, you don't have an ability like mine without having a good idea of how one works inside. Doubt many would even have picked up on it – Ark of Destiny people wouldn't have decided to blame you for Lamium's death, otherwise – but I was very aware of what you were doing. If I hadn't known how to keep your perceptions from over-riding mine, I'd be what _you_ think I should be, instead of who I am. Maybe I'm lucky you were more interested in Cascade than you were in me."

The idea was terrifying and though Virginia would have liked to deny it vociferously, some instinct was telling her that Maya wasn't far off base. No one should have that sort of power over another person however and she felt a sharp sense of guilt over the whole thing. "Are you saying by resetting everything I made the world what I wanted it to be as well as just what _I_ remember?"

A slim hand waved off the thought as Maya shook her head. "Nah. I think you made the library download everyone the way they were, or the way they remembered themselves. You accessed their data but their own self-perceptions and understanding of the world made things reset just the way it was. It's only because of the way I operate that you might have been able to re-write me. Maybe something about what happened to Cascade – his becoming a demon – made him susceptible to being over-written. Might even be that he's utterly unable to keep himself from being shaped by how everyone sees him. I had to learn not to let other people change me that way."

"That could explain why he's staying away from everyone." Virginia thought about that and felt saddened. If they were right, if Janus had been twisted by her thoughts about him and was – even now – being shaped by everyone's perceptions of him it was no wonder that he'd chosen to hide away in the wastelands. _I can't even blame him for being upset._ "Maya, could you teach him to do what you do to protect yourself?"

"Heh. What's in it for me?" At Virginia's glare, Maya laughed. "Oh, don't worry, Virginia. I'm interested enough in the situation. But it's sort of like how you make a rabbit stew. Gotta catch the rabbit first. Think he'll cooperate?"

"I'll convince him. Somehow."

"Then let's go back to my home. Dad left a lot of notes behind and I'd want to go through them so I can work out how I do what I do."

Virginia nodded. Janus had been following her up until now. She rather suspected he'd follow the rest of the way there and she said as much. "Once we get there, we'll have to drag him in, though. I have a feeling he's going to fight me." She made a sour face. "Which almost certainly means he will, if my perception of him is still shaping him somehow."

.oOoOoOo.

"GODAMNIT! LET ME OUT OF HERE!"

Shady peered into the small square box as it rocked side to side and shuddered. Having been the Schrodinger Family's test subject for a very long time had given the creature a mortal terror of enclosed spaces. "Better you than me, Cascade," he said, glancing at Maya.

The blonde girl shook her head. "I didn't expect to catch him so easily." She looked thoughtfully at the box. "Dad's traps were good, but I would have thought Cascade would be better at evading stuff like this." She crossed her arms over her chest as she considered the matter, glancing at the rest of the group. They were in the Schrodinger laboratory, a small building on a remote island. Around them, computers and other devices hummed and chattered to themselves.

At last Maya shrugged. "Virginia? You think you could get him to quiet down so I can open the trap?"

Virginia nodded and yelled into the box, "Janus! Stop that. We're going to let you out." The curses that he responded with were muffled, but not enough to hide their intent. "_Would you rather stay in there for a few hours?_"

The box went quiet. "That's better," Virginia said more quietly. "Give us a minute."

It took closer to five minutes but finally Janus crawled out of the box and, very slowly, forced himself to his feet, muttering imprecations under his breath. Maya blinked at him, gazing up and down at his less than fully clothed body. "Sheesh, Virginia. You really _do_ have mixed feelings about him, don't you? Like the outfit though." She gestured at the loin cloth that was currently Janus' only concession to bodily modesty. From the looks of it, it was probably about all that was left of the blanket he'd walked off with back at Ballack's Rise.

Virginia glared at her friend. "It's not like he didn't do his best to make this shape memorable. I wouldn't have thought of him looking this way if I could bloody well remember what he looked like before."

.oOo.

Crossing his scaled arms over his chest, Janus cocked his head at Virginia. He would have raised a brow as well, but his face didn't make such expressions possible. "I take it you figured a few things out, Princess?" His golden eyes held no emotion as they met Virginia's, but – oddly – it was his whose fell after a moment's staring and he cursed himself, even as he wondered if the fear he felt was his own, or what Virginia thought he should feel. His heart was beating several times too fast and he could feel sweat soaking the leathery flesh of his palms.

"I think so," Virginia agreed, and it relieved Janus to see that she was ignoring his reaction carefully. "And I really _am_ sorry. Maya's going to try and help you, though. She thinks her abilities might make it possible for you to restore yourself to your proper Self."

Blinking, Janus repeated, "Abilities?" He glanced at Maya Schrodinger curiously. He knew next to nothing about her, except that they'd met that day when he'd acquired the Dark Spear. He wasn't sure exactly what had happened after the tower had fallen in on him, but Virginia's memories said that he had been transformed to a demon somewhere in that time.

It was Maya who explained. "My father was a scientist who explored some of the aspects of what the Hyades Library could be made to do for us. He wasn't a member of the Council, but he helped them." She went to a computer and pressed some buttons, bringing up images on the screen of several human shaped figures. "Everything that has ever existed in Filgaia has been saved in the Library." Lines formed from the figures and ran into a square block at the top of the screen.

"My father theorized that the process could be reversed and that one could take data saved in the Library and download it into a living being, giving them the abilities of the person the data was downloaded from. He didn't have much access to Hyades, of course, but he tested the concept by training me to download characters from books."

Janus' eyes glazed over momentarily. He was a reasonably intelligent person, but he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by what Maya was saying. "Now that's just plain weird," he said, and knew he was echoing Virginia's thoughts. At her raised brow he shrugged at her, to say 'what do you expect'? Continuing, he gazed at Maya. "Exactly how is this supposed ta help me?"

"Being able to change one's personality, one's entire abilities, makes one very susceptible to being changed by other people's perceptions of you. You _have_ to learn to keep a part of yourself protected, learn to shield yourself – if you will What is it?" Maya blinked at the half-demon, half-human before her, frowning at his rolled eyes and impatient head motion.

"That's all very well'n good, chicklet, except for one thing. I'm entirely her puppet." He pointed at Virginia. "Everything I am, I owe t'her. There _isn't_ any Janus Cascade without her." _Much to my sorrow. _

Jet shook his head. He'd been watching the conversation from the side of the room, keeping his silence, but Janus' complaint moved him to comment. "That's bull, Cascade. Sure, she reset you wrong. Her perceptions of you are messing around with what you are. But there was a Janus Cascade before. So all she's doing is overwriting who you really are. Don't stand there blaming her for _everything_. You're more than just what _Virginia_ sees, after all."

.oOo.

It was amazing to Virginia just how well a mouth that barely moved could sneer. "Really? You think so? Try again, kid. Maybe if I _was_ Janus Cascade with some of _her_ ideas overlaying mine I'd have a chance. Thing is, I'm not. All I am, all I know of myself, is what _she_ knows."

The sound of glass crashing to the floor broke the silence that followed Janus' pronouncement. Virginia's drink, slipping from her fingers and shattering on the floor. "What?"

"What I said, Princess. I don't know anything of who I am or was outside those few times you and I met. My oldest memory is on the train, when we tried to steal the Ark Scepter. My most recent memory is you blowing me to smithereens in Yggdrasil. And what a delicious memory _that_ was." He cocked his head at her. "There isn't a single memory in between that doesn't involve our meetings. Each and every one of them. As clear as day."

Virginia took several deep breaths. "But why? How? I didn't do that to anyone else Not even Maya"

"Yeah, well everyone else you brought back was alive. Way I figure it – and I suppose I ought to thank you for giving me enough brain cells to work it out – Janus Cascade, the _real_ Janus Cascade, got wiped outta existence somehow – maybe by that Siegfried fellow you were mentioning earlier. He had the Dark Spear, right? So when you decided Janus Cascade was still alive, the only thing that could get created was lil ol' me." The green scaled arms made a broad gesture at the rest of him and he bowed, mockingly. "Just a puppet who knows exactly who's pulling the strings."

.oOoOoOo.

"Now this is interesting."

Virginia looked up from her studies of Schrodinger Sr.'s notes to find Maya frowning at a letter she'd found among her father's papers. Those papers were scattered all over the room, until the place resembled nothing but a small disaster area. Days of research had a way of creating that effect. "What is it?" She glanced out the window to where Jet and Janus were working out and winced when her doing so caused the man she'd accidentally created to falter as he became aware of her notice. He shot a glare in her direction and she hurriedly looked back at Maya. _At least he's wearing some real clothing. Clive's pants are a bit big on him, but he was a real distraction in that loin cloth._

"_Not my fault, Ginny_!"

Virginia winced, wishing that Janus didn't have quite such a clear awareness of what she was thinking about him. _Especially_ when she was thinking that way.

"_Not my fault either_!"

Getting up, Virginia went to the window and yelled back, "Maybe not, but someone could work on his shielding instead of pulling my chain every time he gets a chance." She glared down into amused golden eyes and found her own eyes falling away, avoiding looking at them. _Damnit. He doesn't have to be so bloody cheerful about it._ Turning back to Maya, she continued, "So, what did you find?"

Maya's knowing grin was especially irritating, but at Virginia's glare she coughed, continuing. "Dad was in communication with someone named Pete Inkapilia. It says here that this man would like to see the results of Dad's research and that he thinks that the Council would be able to put it to good use."

That startled Virginia. "Inkapilia." She tapped Clive on the shoulder, rousing their compatriot in research out of his considerations of another notebook. "Clive? Why is the name Inkapilia familiar?"

"Wasn't that the name of one of the Council of Seven?" Clive answered after a moment's thought. "He's the only one we know nothing about. Other than using his name for a password, that is."

_Oh, yes, I remember. My father, Lehault, Melody, Malik. Doran Bryant was the one who got used by Beatrice the one who messed up the Yggdrasil project. And Enduro was Jet's 'father'._ Virginia pulled out the photograph of the Council that they'd found. _Dad and those three others were easy to recognize. Enduro – probably the old man with the beard – Jet seems think so at least._ That left the other two men, one looking rather shy and uncertain to the side and the other having a rather manic, crazed look. Somehow she rather thought the latter had to have been Doran. _Which means the other was probably Inkapilia. He looks the sort to get stuck with the night shift, poor guy._

She paused, startled at something. Doran _Bryant_. That was the name Janus had been yelling when he was delirious with fever. A name that she had barely known and would have had no idea of Janus knowing. Which meant that somehow, somewhere, in the depths of Janus' self, were memories of things other than their interactions. _He _is_ more than just a puppet. I have to believe that. _

Realizing that Maya was watching her, Virginia tapped the faces on the photograph. "Malik was trying to recreate a living person's memories. He would have been interested in using your father's research to help him with that. Lehault and – maybe – Melody were studying the use of nano-machines and, of course, Enduro was creating life out of the planet itself."

Maya bit her lip, looking through the papers. "Then perhaps Inkapilia was looking into ways to change people? Or to convince the planet it wasn't dying by rewriting it? Maybe if humanity didn't think the world was decaying it wouldn't be?"

It seemed to Virginia that, if nothing else, faith might be a requirement in order for the Guardians to do what needed to be done. Four Guardians had been lost entirely for a while, the four most powerful. Perhaps it had been humanity's failure to believe in itself and in the planet it inhabited that had resulted in the loss? She felt the Guardian Justine sending her a flow of wordless encouragement and caressed the Medium that allowed her to contact the ancient power. "That could be," she agreed. "But this doesn't really help us. What is it, Maya?" Her friend was frowning at a sheet of paper, expression darkening.

"I think I know why Janus has a problem. It's not that all he consists of is your thoughts, or at least that's not the only problem." Maya handed Virginia another letter from Inkapilia. "Read here." She pointed at the middle of the page.

The handwriting was difficult to make out. Inkapilia had not, apparently, put that particular skill at the top of his list of concerns. Still, after a bit of effort she read, "Your tests with your daughter have been exceptional and we have used the information you have sent us to attempt to create an entire entity from scratch. I am happy to say that we were entirely successful in downloading the new personality into a nano-machine colony constructed from one of our ARMS, then establishing his existence in the memories of those around us. Neither he, nor the people in the town where he was supposed to have been born, appear to have any realization that five days ago he did not exist. Moreover, he seems to follow the template we have given him perfectly. Leehault has already put Janus to work retrieving items and samples for our experiments and I believe that the skills we have given him as a Drifter will make him an excellent addition to our efforts. Not – obviously – a council member, but certainly useful in helping us achieve our goal."

Virginia looked at Maya silently. "He never really existed?" she said finally.

"He was a person. He _is_ a person," Maya corrected. "Just because he was created by this Inkapilia's template doesn't mean that he doesn't have some sort of existence. It does explain why he's alive and yet unable to retrieve his old Self. Your mind was only able to access the parts of his Self that you were aware of. The rest may be scattered throughout the library or across Filgaia." She frowned consideringly. "Depending on how he was created, though, it might be possible to download the original data, if they kept some sort of back up."

Clive coughed. "Then might I suggest that we seek out this Inkapilia's notes? To determine exactly what information was used to create him? We should also see if there's a way to retrieve whatever data might be left in their records for him."

Virginia shook her head sharply. "That'd just be remaking the old bad Janus."

.oOo.

"The old bad Janus might like to be remade, though," Janus leaned on the doorpost with a wry look on his face. "Or at least have an idea what made him the Janus you know and love, Princess. He may not have been a very good person, but if I go back to being who I was when this Inkapilia fellow made me, I'd rather know why and how I got where I did later – rather than feeling guilty all the time for being what you remember." He eyed the others, but kept most of his attention on Virginia. Maya's training had at least helped him keep her perceptions from changing him, but it didn't make him any less aware of what those perceptions were. He could feel her mixed emotions about the whole thing.

Virginia nodded stiffly. "I don't want to play god," she said quietly. "All right. Everything we can find of who you were, we'll find." She paused, frowning. "You heard?"

With a sour nod, Janus entered the room and took the letter from her hand. "Heard enough. Don't like it, but I like being a piecemeal bit of memorabilia even less. Figure if Jet can stand being created out of Filgaia the way he is, I can stand being a nano-machine colony with delusions of humanity. Just as long as _I'm_ the one programming me." He tilted his head and gave Virginia an impish look.

"I'm not programming you now. You've gotten past that point," Virginia noted with some acerbity. "Even if we never got back what you were, you have something here and now that could serve you for the future."

Janus looked at her for a long moment and shook his head, attempting a smile that he knew was failing. "Yeah. I could go right now and the only thing I'd have to worry about is the kids running in panic everytime they see me." He gestured at his body, still partially demonic owing to the fact that he had no idea what he'd looked like. Virginia's confused image of himself had ensured that he couldn't be human _or_ demon. Without that changing, he was never going to be anything but a horror.

The Drifter girl's eyes turned sad and he felt her sharp regret. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "You just keep pissing me off."

"Part of what I am," Janus agreed. "Problem is, I do it because that's how I'm made. I can't help being what I am because that's the only thing I know how to be. Not to mention those pretty colors you turn when I get you annoyed at me."

"Why?" Virginia's question gave Janus pause and he thought about it. "Why do you want to get me annoyed with you?" He knew perfectly well why he did it. He liked her attention. Liked pulling her chain and getting her hot under the collar because he rather suspected he wasn't likely to get her attention any other way. Not when his entire existence was a collection of the worst possible memories that the 'real' Cascade had given her. _His feelings too. And he dearly loved messing with her head._ He was fairly certain for the same reasons he enjoyed it now.

At last he said, "Because, either you wanted me to love you or I really do. I don't know which it is." Virginia's stare made him continue, self-consciously, aware that he was being uncharacteristically up front on the matter. "I'd like to, though. I'd really like to know if what I feel about you is because you want me to, or because some lingering bit of my old Self – such as it was – felt that way. The only way to find out, Princess, is to get it all back. The good and the bad."

"And if the bad outweighs the good?"

Janus shrugged. "Then we deal with it. I don't expect you to fall in love with me, Ginny. To tell the truth, I don't want you to, not when I don't know if what I feel is real or impressed on me. But if all I ever was or could be is something you can't love, isn't it better to know that? It's not like I'll fall apart if you decide I'm the lowest scum on Filgaia, after all. Obviously it didn't bother me all that much when I was 'real'." He only wished he believed that, but some odd feeling made him suspect otherwise, made him suspect that a part of the original Janus Cascade had been deeply hurt by her anger. _But how do I know that that suspicion isn't just part of what she thought I'd felt? I hate all this second guessing, damnit!_

At long last Virginia nodded. "Clive? Where do you think we should start?"

Clive fiddled with his glasses for a long moment. "There's one place I can think of," he said finally. "The place the Council came together. What with one thing and another we never really studied their records."

Janus felt a chill as he realized where they were going. "Yggdrasil."

To Be Continued...


	5. Chapter 4: The Tree of Life

**The Persistence of Memory **  
By  
Deborah J. Brown

A Wild Arms III Alternate Universe story: Wild Arms III is copyrighted to RPG Dreamers and Sony.

* * *

**_Chapter 4: The Tree of Life _**

"Y'know," Gallows muttered as they slipped past another group of monsters, "I really wish Lombardia could land in here. Maybe we should clear a landing pad for her before we leave?"

Virginia shook her head at her companion. Admittedly, getting to Yggdrasil had to be one of the more difficult journeys possible on Filgaia. The only way in was through Nidhogg pass, a long tunnel system that ultimately led to the center of the crater that contained the one still vital region of Filgaia and, at its center, Yggdrasil tower. The trip took most of the day to make and frequent battles. It might have gone faster with Maya's team, but the Schrodinger girl had felt that she had done about all she could in the matter, since the rest of Janus' cure was going to depend on what she referred to as 'boring old research'.

"Lombardia?" Janus frowned as he climbed a tree to make sure they were still going in the right direction. His claws made the procedure easy and it simplified their travel greatly.

"The dragon. Oh, of course. You weren't around when we met her. The last living metal dragon. She returned to her nest after our battle with Beatrice." Clive had been spending their travels updating Janus on what they'd been doing, but he'd only reached the point where they'd lost Maya. "One of the last weapons of the old days. She was a great assistance. Unfortunately, she would not have been able to land in a place like this."

"Must have been fun getting out of here," Jet commented as Janus landed. "It's no picnic with the five of us. Going through that place on your own can't have been easy."

Janus shrugged. "I didn't bother with the pass. Climbed up the side of the cliff 'n back down the other side. Actually, I sort of thought about staying but paradise is damned boring all by yourself." He indicated his clawed hands and feet. "Guess I shouldn't complain too much about these, should I, Ginny? Woulda been a lot harder to get outta here otherwise."

Virginia winced. "I said I was sorry." She recognized a mild reproof on Janus' part in his reminder that he was stuck in that shape until she could remember what he'd looked like before. "You know, they remember your face better than I do. Why don't you use their memories to rebuild yourself?" She pointed at her companions, rather regretting that none of them were artist enough to draw a recognizable picture.

.oOo.

Glancing Virginia's way, Janus managed a small wry grin. "Because, in the end, you're the one in control. I can keep you from changing me now, but you, m'love, are the only one who _can_ change me." He paused, wondering himself why it was that was so.

Apparently Virginia shared his curiosity, for she demanded, "I don't see why. Maya said."

"Maya's ability may be _similar_ to mine but it isn't the same thing. Whatever it is that makes me so malleable to your thoughts seems tied only to you." Janus shrugged. "Look, Ginny, I'm not beefing about the claws or the face or anything. I know I or the I that was earned them. Though I wish you could have imagined something more useful in the way of a mouth, I don't want you to get all upset because you stuck me with them." It bothered him to feel her guilt over what had happened and he really wished she wouldn't do it.

"Still"

"I said not to get your knickers in a twist, sweetness. It's not like you're not trying to do something about it." Janus took a deep breath. They spent so much time arguing and while some of those arguments he enjoyed, this wasn't one of them. "Come on, Ginny. Let's drop the topic before we start yelling at each other and attracting unwelcome attention." He gestured as they stepped out into a narrow clearing at the base of at tall building. "Besides, we're here."

.oOo.

Virginia gazed up at the tower and sighed. She wished she and Janus could find some way to get along. _Yet at the same time I find myself almost enjoying the fighting._ From Jet's innocent expression, and Gallows' efforts to avoid her or Janus' eyes, she rather suspected they were well aware of the dichotomy of her feelings about the man that she'd injured so terribly. Even Clive had an irritatingly knowing expression.

_One thing I have to remember is he hates it when I feel sorry for him. I have to learn to keep my feelings to myself, no matter how hard it is._ Virginia stepped forward and led the way into the tower. "Where should we start?"

"The top seems the most likely place," Clive murmured. "It's where their main computers were."

"Then let's go. It's a long climb. Hope nothing reset the traps." Virginia started up the steps and was startled when Janus moved to lead the way. "What is it?"

"Something doesn't feel right. Different from what it was like when I woke up earlier." His pointed ears twitched as he sniffed at the air, looking for all the world like a dog on the scent. "I think someone's been here."

Nodding, Virginia continued moving. "Everyone, keep your eyes open." She watched Janus sniff the air, his heightened senses had come in handy during their travels, allowing them to evade more fights. At his puzzled expression, she raised a brow. "More problems?"

"It's different but I don't smell anything – aside from the guardian monsters, that is." He dodged sideways, gesturing at the others and they followed suit, barely avoiding the passage of several such monsters – the clay men that had apparently been built for the express purpose of protecting the tower. "Just plain feels weird. I may be paranoid, Princess, but I don't like it."

Virginia had to agree with that much. Still, "Let's get moving."

.oOo.

The climb was amazingly uneventful. Even passing through the chamber where Virginia and the others had last met him didn't really bother him – much. It was just the place where he'd died and been reborn, after all, and the here and now had to matter more than the past. Janus had just decided that whatever weirdness was going on in this place was simply his overactive imagination when they stepped into the great chamber at the very top of the tower and a stabbing agony hit him in the chest.

"JANUS!"

Falling to his knees, gasping for air, Janus stared blankly into the past.

_Answers demanded. Pain inflicted, agony like nothing else. Agony only too well known. Torture inflicted to force the truth from unwilling lips. Never. Never. Never. To answer is to give in. To explain is to let them win. Never... ...no more... _

_Torture set aside at last in favor of another battle. Her. She is here and must be stopped. One must fall now, though it gives him a peculiar pain to realize it. Still, if she wins, she can defeat the others. If she loses, he can be sure of his own success. By now he isn't sure which he would prefer. The savor of life has been lost along with the awareness of mortality. Damaged over and over again and never truly able to die. He'd feared death, once. Now he almost longed for it. ...ginny _

_Pain and a kind of triumph. Battle lost, but while there was life, no battle is ever over. If only he could believe that. "I created a shell and escaped." "Sacrifice? What are you talking about?" _

_Facing nothingness. Something not yet real but beginning to gain strength. Something being reborn. "I'll take you apart." "You want me to kill you with my bare hands. Okay" _

_Pain. Unlimited agony as his self is stolen from him. Everything he is. Everything he had managed to win for himself. Sucking away. Tiny bits of himself being torn away in the process, too small to matter to his enemy. Tiny bits of his Self, carrying his last moments. _

_"There _is_ no afterlife. That's why I wanted to rule this world." _

_Death that was not death. One last little memory of something tall and blue forming out of his own substance, overwhelming his Self. Then Nothing._

"Janus! Janus, snap out of it! Wake up!" A hand slapped him across the face and he heard Virginia's voice as she gasped in pain. "Damn. His skin's too hard to get through."

"I can hit him with my gunstock," Gallows offered.

Slowly he opened his eyes. "Nonot necessary. Give me a moment." He felt stronger, just a teeny bit, but the change was measurable. _Of course. Now I understand._ He fought down rage. Fought back the fury that those moments regained instilled in him. They were over, long since over. No longer meaningful except as tiny bits of data defining who he was. "There there were some parts of me in here. Bits left over from my fight with Siegfried."

He could remember the fight only too well now. Could remember the feel of the Dark Spear driving its way through his back, called to its true master and not caring that it must pass through living 'flesh' in the process. _No. Well aware of it. Requiring it. Stealing everything from me._ He thought for a moment that he was going to choke and fall over again, but somehow managed to remember that – for all that he had been killed – he was alive now.

Virginia, Gallows and Jet were staring at him with identically confused expressions, but Clive suddenly nodded in understanding. "Some of the nano-machines got lost in your fight. They contain memories of what happened here, right?"

Getting to his feet and brushing off imaginary dirt from his pants, Janus marked the air in front of him with a clawed finger. "Point is yours," he answered, then stumbled and let Virginia catch him long enough to get him to a nearby piece of fallen masonry. He really didn't _need_ her help, but he was perfectly willing to take it. _You're such a rotten mooch, Cascade,_ he thought, amused at himself. "Looks like we were right about one thing. It was Siegfried who blew me away. Or rather, he took over. Sucked the life right out of me with the Dark Spear. Hurt like hell, too."

Light dawning in her eyes, Virginia put a hand on his shoulder and he cocked his head at her. _Damn, but I like it when she does that._ At his expression, though, a blush reddened her cheeks and she stepped back with a dignified air that amused him almost as much as his own reaction. "I'd tell you my last thoughts were of you," he said, "But you wouldn't believe me and I'm not sure they were. Things are a bit confused between that moment and when I woke up downstairs."

"I still don't get it," Gallows grumbled.

"Remember, Mr. Cascade's body is a nano-machine colony that mimics organic life." Clive's voice took on a lecturing tone. "Those machines – like the ones that make us capable of tuning in with our ARMs – behaved in much the same way as human flesh would have during his fight with Siegfried. In other words, he probably bled all over the place. That means that this room contained small quantities of Mr. Cascade's 'blood' scattered all over."

"And that so-called blood would carry his memories of what happened here. So when he came in the surviving nano-machines rejoined his body. I see." Jet settled on another piece of masonry. "Then maybe any place where Janus has been injured might have a few of his nano-machines scattered around. That might be useful to know."

.oOo.

Virginia looked at Janus worriedly. He was trying to look fairly calm but he'd just experienced the memories of his own dying and though he was hiding it well, she thought he was shaken. He glanced her way and shrugged. "Yeah, a bit," he agreed, without her having to say anything. "But I'll be all right. Honest."

"What did you mean about Siegfried taking over?" Virginia decided to change the subject.

Golden eyes gazed consideringly at nothingness. "I was the sacrifice," he said flatly. It occurred to Virginia that this had to be terribly difficult for him to explain, especially as she began to get an inkling of what he meant by being the sacrifice. With a great deal of effort she forced herself not to respond to her realization, not to think of him as embarrassed or humiliated at the way in which he'd apparently been used.

Gallows, not having to worry about somehow influencing Janus, was less discreet. "You mean they stretched you out on an altar and cut your heart out? That's"

"Not what I mean." Janus shook his head. "Kid, _you_ have an overactive imagination. It's simpler than that. I'm betting that Siegfried existed in the Library in the same way everyone apparently does – but he couldn't do anythin' 'til he had a body ta utilize. A body properly prepared for him. The bastards set me up."

Making a sound of comprehension, Jet spoke up. "You were perfect for the purpose. A nano-machine colony they could alter enough to make compatible with him. In essence a home-grown metal demon. You even went to the trouble of gathering bunches of energy from the Guardians." As Gallows frowned darkly at the memory, Jet added, "You thought you were doing it for you, but in the end all you were doing was making Siegfried that much more powerful."

"And when he was summoned into this world, all he had to do was over-write your Self with his." Clive nodded in understanding. "That doesn't bode well for getting your full personality back, though, since Siegfried died."

It occurred to Virginia to wonder if it was possible for Siegfried to die. She hadn't thought about him in the process of bringing back Filgaia, but the fact that his physical form was – apparently – composed entirely of Janus' nano-machines might mean that when she and the others had 'downloaded' the world from the Hyades library the remnants of those machines still existed. _At the bottom of the sand dunes,_ she reminded herself. _Destroyed when we fought him that last time._. It was best not to give Janus too much hope.

"We'll do what we can, though," Virginia said firmly after a moment. "Clive? Let's start with these computers."

.oOoOoOo.

Janus was bored. Though he sort of understood the procedures Clive was using to research the data in Yggdrasil's computers, his comprehension was limited to what the archeologist had taught him. He was beginning to get a certain sympathy for Gallows, who was even less scientifically inclined than he was. Both men were restlessly sitting at their computer terminals, noting down filenames and struggling against yawns. Well, Gallows was, at least. Strictly speaking, Janus didn't really sleep. Not in the way humans did. He stroked a claw against the metal of the console and elicited a small screech from the metal.

"Oh for heaven's sake, you two. Why don't you go take a nap?" Virginia was bent over her own terminal, expression intent as she scanned the file and tried to work out what it all meant. It occurred to Janus that she wasn't doing a lot better than he was, though she wouldn't admit it. Really the only one enjoying this search was Clive and maybe Jet.

Gallows coughed. "Er y'know, I hate not to be helpful, but I think I will." He got to his feet, stretching his arms wide. Janus, watching him, reflected that if the Baskar's personality had ended up in a body more like Jet's, it would probably be easier to understand the childish behavior. One didn't expect someone as tall and bulky as Gallows to act like an overactive teenager. _Like you have a basis for comparison,_ Janus mocked himself. His comprehension of human behavior was pretty damned limited to what he'd been given through Virginia's thoughts and _she_ was a little on the naïve side.

As Gallows wandered off to the room they were using as a sleep chamber – a former storage room near to the main lab – Janus got up too. "I don' sleep," he said to the others, "But I don' think what I use for a brain is workin' too well right now, either. I'll do some wandering around. Maybe I'll find a few more cells hanging around somewhere. Or something we missed on the first go through."

Clive and Jet nodded absently as they studied their terminals. Virginia looked up, however and Janus could feel her concern. "You be careful. We still don't know if what you thought you sensed on the way in was real or not."

Janus chuckled wryly, "Yeah, and we've already proved my smarts in keeping out of trouble aren't exactly operating at full speed." He recollected the ease with which Maya's traps had caught him back at the Schrodinger's home. Virginia's memories of him had given him the intelligence to work things out pretty quickly, but not the experience that had once been his, meaning he was having to relearn tricks that his original Self probably knew. He shrugged. "Won't touch anything, Princess. Promise. Scout's honor."

"You don't have to promise, Janus. Just don't get in trouble."

.oOoOoOo.

It was getting close to dinner time when Virginia realized that she hadn't seen Janus for over an hour. Telling the others where she was going, she left the room and started down the hallway. Her steps echoed through the empty halls and she squinted in the green tinted light, wondering how her father and the others had stood it. Setting that thought aside, however, she looked around, wondering where she should look first.

_The trouble is, this place is a maze. We haven't lucked into a map or anything. At least this level seems monster free. Hopefully he didn't go wandering downstairs and get himself in real trouble._ Admittedly, having seen Janus fight on the way through Nidhogg pass, Virginia was fairly sure that her unexpected responsibility was capable of holding his own against most of the creatures that lived in this place. Even with the Dark Spear unable to help him cast any of the spells he'd once used, he was a skilled fighter. _At least my memories gave him that much. I think he'd hate it if he felt he was supposed to be capable of protecting himself and couldn't._

It was going to be a bit of a pain searching Janus out, though. She called his name, listening closely for any sounds, and only heard her own voice echoing back at her. _We've never been down this hallway,_ she thought, moving cautiously along a darkened corridor. _I'll try it first._

At last she found herself in another terminal room, similar to the larger one they'd been working in. Intriguingly, though, one wall was filled smaller monitors, all darkened. Virginia wasn't really sure why she did so, but she searched the console below the monitors and found the switch, flipping it.

Above her, lights flickered and the screens blinked into life. She stared at them, some showed rooms she'd seen before. Clive and Jet busily getting supper together. Another of Gallows snoring, arms and legs sprawled as he slept. _He's such a child, sometimes,_ she thought indulgently. Yet another showed her Janus, curled up on what looked like a bed with a book. _Well, at least I know he's okay, if not where that is. He looks pretty happy, actually. Wonder where he found the book?_

As Virginia scanned the monitor screens she spotted one that looked oddly familiar. Not a room she'd ever been in before, of that much she was certain, but at its center an object glowed that resembled something she knew she'd seen in her travels. After a moment's thought she realized, "Oh, of course. Mimir's Well. That looks like the access point to the Hyades Library."

It occurred to Virginia that such an access point would have been extremely useful to the Council of Seven and that they'd probably built the thing here to make travel to the Well unnecessary. The funny thing was that this point looked like it was still in some form of operation. She'd destroyed the access point at Mimir's Well to prevent the Dream Demon from using it as an entrance into reality. She had thought that her father had blocked this one too.

_Well, for whatever reason, it looks operational. I should check on it._ Virginia left the room and continued through the hallways, searching.

.oOo.

A muffled sound made Janus look up from his book. An adventure novel, one of a set that he'd found in the shelves in this small bedroom, it held a certain amount of amusement for him. Quite a bit, in fact. Engrossed by the story, he'd lost track of time. _Damn. Shoulda brought it back with me, instead of hanging out here. Bet Ginny's looking for_ A strange panic came over him. Ginny. Ginny was in trouble.

He stuffed the book in the pocket of his pants and rushed out of the room, following his sense of Virginia's presence. Left, then right, then another right and he found himself skidding through a doorway and into a small room. At its center was a golden object that he'd have sworn was an impossible shape. Around the object was a console similar to all the others in this place and on the other side was a glowing orb. Inside that orb he could just make out a feminine figure. _GINNY! _

Before he could react, he found himself trapped in another orb. Sound deadened and he realized that the air was slowly being sucked out of the thing. _Good thing I don't need to breathe Aww crap. _I_ don't, but Ginny does._ He focused his thoughts on his version of the Dark Spear. His memory of what Siegfried could do with it made him certain he could do the same with what was – in essence – a copy formed from his own substance. "Come on, baby. Come to papa."

He felt its approach. Felt it colliding against walls and shifting its direction as it came up against various blockades. Then, with a loud crash, it broke through the orb containing him and he caught it up. "_Goood_ baby!" He rushed around to the orb containing Virginia. She was collapsed on the floor, unmoving, and he swung the weapon as hard as he could.

Then he was on his knees beside Virginia and shaking her, terror rising. "GINNY! GINNY! WAKE UP!"

.oOo.

Virginia moaned, feeling the air rushing into her lungs with blessed relief. Something was shaking her, big, powerful hands with claws that were digging uncomfortably into her shoulder blades. A harsh howling cry in her ear, screaming her name. "J Stop that." She forced her eyes open, saw his expression and was instantly sorry for her anger. His face might not be able to show his feelings but his eyes did and they held a fear so deep that she knew she'd frightened him terribly. _Maybe as much or more than I frightened myself. What a stupid thing to do, to go poking around in here without someone as back up. I got over-confident, too sure that the security in this place was off._ "Sorry. I did a stupid thing." She fought back a fit of coughing, sitting up slowly.

Sitting back, golden eyes calming, the half-demon sighed in relief. "Did the same thing. Rushed in here so fast it nearly got me too." He grabbed her up and dragged her to through the door. "Let's make sure it can't get us again." Leaning against the wall and obviously trying to cover up his earlier fear with an insouciant air, Janus grinned at Virginia. "What were you doing, Princess?"

Forcing herself to a sitting position took most of Virginia's energy and it wasn't until she was leaning on the wall across from Janus that she finally answered. "I found a monitor room that showed this room. It looked like an access point to the Hyades Library and I thought I'd check it out while I looked for you. Saw you reading, by the way. Where was that?" She glanced around the hallway, noting dents and huge scratches in the grey metal walls that hadn't been there before. _What happened here? _

Janus pulled a book out of his pocket. "Inkapilia's quarters," he said, grinning an oddly wry grin. Tossing the volume to Virginia, he added, "I think I found out where he got his inspiration. Or at least the name."

Virginia blinked at the cover. "The Adventures of Janus Cascade. Volume five." She raised her eyes to her companion. "You were a character in a book." An old one, too. At least 25 or so years if the date on the inside was right.

A small snigger escaped Janus' lips. "Yeah. Think you woulda liked him, though, so something musta really screwed me up between the time Inkapilia created me to when we met. He" A long claw pointed at the novel, "is always going on about justice and doing the right thing. Talk about your sanctimonious little prigs, really." With a self-conscious laugh, he added, "Sorry. Guess maybe it's what you would have preferred me to be."

Opening the book, Virginia read a few pages and winced. "Do I sound like this?" she asked plaintively. Based on the few paragraphs she'd just read, the Janus Cascade in the story seemed almost painfully smug and self-righteous.

Janus looked consideringly at her. "Well, you do a bit, but remember, this ain't exactly a complicated book. Good guys, bad guys, they're all pretty apparent." A claw tapped the cover, "_This_ Janus lives in a black and white world. The world we live in ain't so obvious."

.oOo.

Looking at Virginia, Janus could feel her regret for the world's grey areas, that the right paths weren't easily found if you just looked and he smiled wryly. "Ginny, you remember what I said about you being naïve? About how I hated seeing in you what I used t'be?"

The girl nodded slowly, blue eyes on him with a solemn expression. "Well, I don't remember exactly how I used t'be, but if I was based offa this book, I probably felt pretty much the same as your feeling now. But the thing is, the world ain't black and white and wishing it were ain't enough to make it be. Or, even if it is, maybe it ain't a good idea to be trying."

Virginia's blue eyes turned away from his and she sighed softly. "I know that. After what I did to you, I know that only too well. But I want to make it as right as it possibly can be." She leafed through the book, stopping at an illustration and he grinned at her expression. "Now I _know_ you never wore anything like this!" At his laughter, she grumbled, "I was hoping it would have something that would remind me of what you really looked like."

Remembering finding that image and deciding that if he really _had_ worn that great big white hat and white and silver outfit he wasn't terribly anxious to go back to being human in shape. _Though the face under the hat – what you can see of it – isn't that bad. I just can't believe I ever wore a white mask._ He repeated the thought aloud and Virginia shook her head. "You didn't," she denied. "White pants, black shirt Your hair was blue then too, but not so spiky."

"And that red jacket?" Janus asked, getting to his feet. It had been too badly messed up by the quiller attack to bother with, but he remembered feeling its lack pretty badly in the days that had followed. Not so much for the warmth but because he'd felt like he'd lost something treasured.

Virginia moved to look into the room that had nearly killed her. "Yes, and that ring on a chain" she agreed, tapping the piece of jewelry hanging around his neck. "I got the feeling you liked to stay tidy. Your friends, Dario and Romero seemed like the usual toughs, but you stood out. To tell the truth, that was one of the reasons I thought there might be something more to you than just another ruffian."

Remembering how he'd left Dario and Romero to be cast to the winds in his attempt to take the Dark Spear for himself, Janus felt a sharp pang, even as Virginia continued, "I think, or at least I _hope_ that I've learned not to look at just the outside of the person anymore." She winced a little as she spoke, continuing. "Let's never mind that for the moment. The face in the picture might be familiar, but I can't make out the features well enough. I'm sorry. I remember the eyes and the way you dressed but I really can't seem to see your face." There was a faint regret in her voice.

Janus shrugged. "Well, this version _is_ pretty unforgettable." He gestured at his scales. "And at the moment, maybe, more useful than a human body would be. You want me to go in there? The trap can't hurt me and my buddy here," he patted the Dark Spear lovingly, "was able to break me out."

.oOo.

Virginia hesitated. "On one hand," she admitted, "I'm worried about letting even you go in there. You got out of _one_ trap. You don't know that you can escape any others. On the other You're the only one who might be able to get in and out of there safely."

A soft laugh escaped the fanged mouth. "I value my partially demonic skin too much, Princess. Far too much to do something unsafe. Besides, I've _got_ to start earning my keep around here. I can't do research, so I'll just do those nasty little dangerous jobs that need doing." He paused, frowning. "And why does saying that seem strangely familiar?"

There wasn't an answer Virginia could give and she shrugged as Janus continued. "Okay. You wait right here and I'll go in and see what I can see." He stepped through the door, dodged sideways as a bubble of energy tried to roll over him. His Dark Spear swinging, he crashed through the defenses until he was standing near to the console surrounding the core of the room.

"Warning, intruder. Please exit information room immediately. Security is authorized to utilize deadly force if you persist in attempting to access the Library." The voice that spoke through the speakers was strangely familiar, but Virginia couldn't identify it. She watched as Janus used the Dark Spear to shatter another bubble, then deflected a laser shot into a wall with the weapon's flat surface. "It is not my desire to injure you, intruder. You must leave."

"Who the hell are you? _Where_ are you? Show yourself!" Janus stared around the room wildly, defending himself from the attacks with precise swings of his weapon and swift dodges where necessary.

An image was forming over the core. An image Virginia knew only too well. Knew and loved. Knew and missed so much sometimes – even now – that the sight of him left her breathless. "DADDY?"

For a moment there was shocked silence as Janus blocked another laser shot. There was a strange whirring sound and motion from somewhere in the ceiling. Virginia, looking upwards, spotted an blocky object that seemed to be aiming towards her. She dodged sideways, but nothing happened except that the voice spoke, "Virginia?" There was a world of puzzlement in the voice. "What are you doing here? Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to access the Library? Could you come out? I promise, the weapons are deactivated."

Virginia moved to a position near the edge of the door, prepared to dodge if it seemed necessary. "Daddy? What are you doing here?"

.oOo.

Janus chuckled as the image of Werner Maxwell shook his head. "I asked that first, now didn't I?" the voice said in a mildly scolding tone through the speakers that Janus had only just noticed attached to the walls of the room. _That's right. She said his memories had become part of the Hyades Library. I guess he's able to communicate through the access point. _

Virginia flushed, accepting the reprimand as a dutiful daughter would. "We came here looking for information."

"Honey, you _know_ the Library mustn't be accessed," Maxwell scolded. "I warned you of that when you were restarting everything. This point has to be open, or Filgaia wouldn't exist at all, but." He gazed at his daughter sadly. "Whatever made you think it was a good idea to come here? Please don't tell me something horrible is trying to happen again."

"Depends on what you mean by horrible, Maxwell," Janus answered as Virginia slowly came forward. "I'd sort of like to be put back together with a bit more than what Ginny here remembers of me." He cocked his head at the holographic image and wondered how he knew what it was in the first place. _For that matter, his face is familiar. _

The whirring sound from earlier occurred again and Janus found himself thinking, _Of course. He needs the camera to see me._ Yet another word that ought to be meaningless to him and yet wasn't. He glanced upwards at the black blocky object and waved at it. "Janus Cascade, or what little is left of him, at your service, Pops." The bow that accompanied his speech was faintly mocking, as much due to his own discomfort with the situation as his natural insouciance.

There was a moment of silence as the cameras scanned Janus' face and body. A moment that left the half-demon feeling more than a little like a not quite satisfactory potential boyfriend that daddy's little girl had brought home. _Heh. Not far off. Does he have access to a shotgun? Should I be hauling my demonic ass outta here?_

"Janus Cascade. Inkapilia's project?" It rather surprised Janus that Maxwell's tone hadn't become especially tense or angry, just terribly puzzled. "Weren't you assisting Leehault and the others?"

To Janus' chagrin, Virginia hurried to excuse him. "We don't know why he was doing it, Daddy. And I messed him up badly when we restarted the world. I want to try and help him get back who he was."

"I think perhaps you should explain, Virginia," Maxwell said, turning to face his daughter.

.oOo.

It took half an hour to describe what had happened to Janus and what they'd discovered so far. When she finished, though, Virginia concluded with, "I know he may turn out to be" she faltered and Janus cheerfully continued her sentence, "a nasty piece of work better off left to rot in some dank cave."

An odd look crossed Maxwell's face and Virginia wondered what was going on in his head. At last he said, "You've gotten something more of an attitude than you had before the Crash, I see."

It was no surprise that Janus had to laugh. "You might know better than either of us, Doc." Janus eyed the man for a long moment and held up the book he'd found. "_Please_ don't tell me I dressed like this."

Rather surprisingly, Maxwell laughed as well. "No. We were able to convince Pete that making a perfect copy of a man like the Janus Cascade in the book might not be a good idea. I'm afraid your creator was very fond of the series." His expression turned serious. "To be honest, I never had many dealings with you, aside from donating the nano-machines from my ARMs for your creation. I was busy investigating the library."

Janus raised a brow, but before he could say anything, Virginia interrupted, "Is there anything in the library that could help us fix his memories, though?"

The tall figure of Virginia's memories gazed at her soberly. In the gold tinged light from the library, his features were kind but showed little in the way of helpfulness. "Virginia, honey, the risk of copying information into him from the library is just far too high. Beatrice may have been defeated, but this is a place where demons dwell. I can block them, keep them from accessing reality, but not if you offer them a sacrificial lamb – and that's all he would be."

Virginia wanted to protest that that wasn't what she'd wanted at all, but the thoughtful expression on Janus' face confused and distracted her. He was so temperamental that she would have expected him to take such a description as a personal insult. Instead he nodded, arms folded across his chest. "That's what I was already, wasn't it? Not Inkapilia's idea, maybe, but someone must have figured me for a perfect patsy." He cocked his head at Virginia's father. "Right?"

Virginia felt sharp sorrow at the pain in Janus' voice and he shrugged at her. "I'm sure I walked right into whatever it was that happened, Ginny. It's not like I'm entirely blameless – at least I have this feeling I wasn't." He turned back to Maxwell. "But what little I remember of those times tells me I was feeling pretty well helpless and pushed around. I was grabbing at chances every time I could and not realizing that I was fully expected to do so." His horror of a mouth twisted slightly into a perverse version of a grin. "So Leehault and the other two probably restored me just so they'd have something nice and compatible with ol'Siegy – once I had the requisite amount of energy for big and clunky to use."

Another silence from Maxwell, then a slow nod. "You are, I think, correct. Then you understand why it is I cannot permit you access to the Library"

.oOo.

Janus rolled his eyes. "Man, oh man," he muttered, glaring at what was left of Virginia's father with an impatient feeling. "When did either of us say a word about downloading my personality – such as it was – from the library at all? Given, of course, that it ever existed there in the first place. No offence, Pops, but there's no way I'm risking getting another demon sticking its nasty little claws in what's left of my brain. I don't even know that you're really her dad"

Noting Virginia's discomfort, the former Drifter continued as calmly as he could. "To tell the truth, if it weren't for the fact that there's so many little bits and pieces bouncing around up in my head, the only thing I'd be concerned about would be figuring out how to look human again. I don't mind not remembering much." _Except it isn't just what's in my head, but everyone else's. Knowing why people think I'd react a certain way would be nice. Especially knowing what it was that made me into what Virginia remembered. _

Virginia put a hand out and touched Janus' arm and he gave her a wry smile, even as he wished she weren't quite so understanding or kind about it all. _That was probably what bugged me most about her. I didn't want to admit I let myself get all messed up inside._ He remembered the mixed feelings he'd had towards her, as mixed up in their way as the feelings she had about him and was suddenly very glad she couldn't read him the way he could her. _And lordie how unfair she'd think that is._

"Looking human again may be the easiest of your difficulties." Maxwell's image was flickering out of sight and another was forming. "And your concerns regarding my nature are understandable. Thus I will only offer two things; First – I suggest that you and your friends examine Pete's laboratory in Little Twister. Second, Virginia, if you need to remember what Janus looked like before he became demonized, look here."

The image of Maxwell disappeared, replaced by the face and form of a slimly built man. Youngish, with blue-white hair slicked back from a face that Janus thought might be considered relatively attractive. _No heartbreaker, but not something a girl would run from either,_ he thought. _Keziah always liked_ he stopped, shaken by the brief flash of memory and forced himself to look closely at the Janus Cascade that had once been.

Beside him, he could feel Virginia beginning to remember what her mind had tried to forget. Could feel her image of him – physically, at least – provide the impetus to his body's change. With only a momentary qualm, he let that change take over, accepting it.

In a few short minutes the demon shape he wore was gone.

To Be Continued...


	6. Chapter 5: Beginning at the Beginning

**The Persistence of Memory **  
By  
Deborah J. Brown

A Wild Arms III Alternate Universe story: Wild Arms III is copyrighted to RPG Dreamers and Sony.

* * *

**_Chapter 5: Beginning at the Beginning _**

_Somehow we always seem to end up in this town,_ Virginia thought as she gazed around the dusty streets and run-down buildings of Little Twister. A place where law and order took a backseat, Little Twister was home to those who simply couldn't fit in elsewhere. No town in Filgaia was perfectly safe for four people with a price on their heads, but at least the people here tended to mind their own business. They especially minded their business when it was obvious they'd be putting their skin at risk by not doing so, and if Virginia and her friends hadn't exactly _tried_ to gain such a reputation, they were still considered something the smaller fish in the pond had best leave alone.

"I still can't believe a scientist would have lived here," Gallows muttered and Jet rolled his eyes. "Well? I can't! A gambler, yeah. Someone here once said Janus was from this town. _That_ I can believe."

The blue haired man sauntering beside Virginia grinned. "Yeah. My kinda place, this. Bet there's a fight every night and a whore in every man's bed." At Virginia's glare Janus tried to look innocent and failed. "Sorry, Princess, but it's the truth."

"Which?" Virginia's tone held an acerbic note. "That this is your kinda place or that there's a whore in every man's bed? Including yours, no doubt?" As Janus' yellow eyes shifted away with an embarrassed air, Virginia sighed. "It's not that I disagree, Janus. I just wish you weren't so happy about it."

The blue haired man's voice was distant as his gaze drifted over the town, looking at the hard, dusty, road and the weathered wood of the houses. "Didn't say I was happy about it." Turning to look at Virginia again, he added wryly. "Amused, yeah. We've all established that I'm not exactly the nicest critter ever to walk this world." He cricked his neck, stretching the joints as he turned and started into town. "Besides, you have to laugh. It's the only way to keep from crying."

.oOo.

It took Virginia almost a minute before she hurried up to catch up, by which time Janus was standing at the doorway of one of the older and more dilapidated buildings. He gazed at the wood, frowning more to himself than to the girl who'd come up beside him. "Familiar," he muttered. "A tiny bit of memory retained?"

Clive's quietly erudite voice interjected, "A distinct possibility. If I understand the way nano-machines operate, I believe each unit may contain infinitesimal quantities of memory, along with the knowledge of their function in your structure." The archeologist resettled his glasses, looking at Janus with a thoughtful expression. "This would explain why you are so malleable to the memories and concepts that Virginia holds regarding your personality – if not why Virginia alone can affect your self-image. Your present appearance consists of myriad tiny nano-machines, but for the most part are empty of the memory of who you truly were, having been rebuilt by those nano-machines you abandoned when you escaped us in Yggdrasil."

Not entirely surprisingly, the big Baskar was looking puzzled. "Uh I don't understand." He rubbed the back of his head with an embarrassed look, silver lock drooping a little in the hot sun. "I thought he couldn't remember because the only things left of him were what Ginny remembered."

Jet rolled his eyes, the pale haired youth looking a trifle disgusted, much to Janus' amusement. "Gallows. That's what Clive just said. Most of Janus' body got rebuilt by what he left back at Yggdrasil, when Virginia's mind initiated them somehow. So he just has a little bit of memory – a lot of which got over-ridden by Virginia."

It wasn't hard to realize what Virginia was thinking. The girl's blue eyes were sad as she gazed at the doorway, avoiding Janus' eyes. He decided that lecture time was over and patted her on the shoulder. "Ginny, it's done. No point in wringing and worrying the past."

"Yes, but"

"Don't make me get sarcastic and snarky, Ginny. Let's get a move on." Janus turned and used the Dark Spear to bust the board nailed over the doorway off, his action attracting only brief notice from the man who was supposed to be the sheriff.

A laugh escaped Gallow's throat. "Y'know, I think Siegfried might have had a few things to say about using the Dark Spear as a crow bar."

"You say this like it's a bad thing?" Janus asked, grinning back. Of all of Virginia's companions, he understood the big kid best. Didn't always like or agree with him, but they had a similar sense of humor sometimes. "'Sides, strictly speaking this thing is just a pale imitation of the original." He pushed the door open and bowed elaborately to his companions. "Come into my parlor?"

.oOo.

At first it seemed as if they'd run into a dead end. The house that Janus had seemed to recognize was a single room, emptied of furniture, its one bookcase broken and shattered on the ground. Sneezing, three short sharp little sneezes, Virginia took a swallow of the water Clive offered her and shook her head. "I don't" Before she could finish her sentence, though, Janus had walked to the far wall and pushed under the window as hard as he could.

A small hidden doorway creaked open, leading into a narrow flight of stairs. "This side's against the wall around town." Janus gestured with one hand vaguely and Virginia realized that the passage was actually cut into the stone outside, concealing it from prying eyes. "Effective," she murmured. "And a bit tight."

"Yeah. Gallows may regret all those pancakes he keeps having for breakfast." Janus' grin made the bigger man cross his arms and look away with a disdainful expression. "Once you get in, I don't think it'll be so bad." He shuddered suddenly, not with fear or cold, but with a kind of confused look on his face. As Virginia reached out, concerned, he smiled. "It's just the strangeness, all these teeny little memories trying to come back. Goose walking over my grave."

It was Jet who nodded understanding. "I felt that way at Leyline. Don't really remember a thing about the place, but I knew it like the back of my hand. Weirded me out, really."

"Hey, maybe it's for the same reason. If this was where Janus was born, that is." Everyone looked at Gallows, who backed off hurriedly. "It's just an idea."

With a laugh, Jet went over to the doorway and started scooting himself in. "We're just in shock that you managed one that actually made sense."

It was an effort for Virginia not to chuckle at the offended expression on Gallows' face.

.oOo.

The stairway down opened out fairly quickly into a much more comfortable passageway. As the group moved through, however, Janus found those flashes of memory increasing, to the point that he had to stop and force himself to focus.

"Do you want to stop for a minute?" Virginia's worried tone made Janus smile as he shook his head wordlessly. She continued, blue eyes concerned, "Don't push yourself, Janus. You just barely got a human shape again."

A small grin crossed Janus' face, a strong sense of the peculiarity of being 'mothered' by the woman who had more than enough reason to think of him as not much better than a pain in the arse. _Well, she'd probably say neck, but she'd be thinking arse._ "I'm fine, Ginny. I'm not tired, just remembering." He glanced down the hallway. "Lab was this way."

As Janus walked through the hall, closely followed by the others, he shook his head. "Tsk. Leave the place for a while and the housecleaning 'chines go on strike." He rubbed a bit of rust off the wall. "Look at this. Pete'd have a fit" He choked, the memory of a young voice in his ear. _'Cleanliness is next to Godliness, Janus.' 'Yeah, Pete, but I haven't noticed any Gods hanging around, lately.' _

"Pete?" Virginia's question broke into Janus' reverie. "Inkapilia?"

"Mmm," Janus agreed. "He was a bit of a neat freak, I think." The memory was so fragile, a tiny thread amid a mostly blank tapestry. _Are more pieces of me finding their way back? Or are these memories left behind when I duplicated myself?_ Either way, it was sort of like uncovering a ruin, one grain of sand at a time, haphazardly moving from one area to another. _And why does thinking of Pete make me so damned _sad

A hand touched Janus' arm and he turned to look at Virginia. "It's okay," he reassured the girl. "Nothing horrible happened here. I'll be all right."

.oOo.

Virginia wished she could believe her companion's reassurance. His yellow eyes had a haunted look, as if the echoes of the past were causing him a sorrow that he simply couldn't face and couldn't explain. _No, not just as if. This place troubles him._ She really couldn't blame Janus for being bothered, either. If they'd figured things out right, this had been his home once, before the disaster at Yggdrasil.

"Janus? Do you remember anything yet about how you came to work for" She hesitated. It surely was too soon for him to remember. Indeed, he might never be able to recover those memories.

A shrug as Janus sauntered down the hall, pausing long enough to bang on the wall under a flickering bulb. "Dang it, we never did get that thing to work right," he muttered. "No, Ginny. I doubt I'll remember anything about them here." He paused, adding, "Well, I remember being scared of them."

Gallows made a startled sound and Janus turned a wry grin his way. "What? You think I wasn't able to be afraid? Or is it the admission?"

The big Baskar rubbed at the back of his neck, tangling his fingers in his long dark brown hair. "Well, both, actually."

The expression on Janus' face turned thoughtful, an expression Virginia found herself liking, oddly enough, even though the thought caused him to glance her way with a quick grin before returning to his considerations. "Fear." He gazed directly into Gallows' eyes. "Yes. I was afraid. My life meant something to me, if not to those three bastards. I'd seen too many people I loved die on me. I wanted to live. I wanted to live without being forced to do what other people wanted me to do. And I didn't know how." He shrugged, tossing aside the thought with a casual air. "Come on. Enough introspection. That's not my style anyway. Let's see what we can see."

.oOo.

Pete Inkapilia's laboratory went deep and with only the stairways for access it took almost half an hour for Janus and the others to make their way down to the main level. Though Gallows chafed at the time it took, Janus was rather glad of it. Each step of the way aroused new bits of memory, new pieces of the puzzle that he'd become. Though not enough to count as more than nuances of personality, Janus found himself feeling sadder and lonelier every step of the way. He'd been happy here, content in his place. _I lost something important, here. Someone important._

Keziah's name kept worming its way into his head. She'd been here too. Both down in the lab and up in the town above them. _Pete's girl. But I liked her too._ Apparently Janus simply had the worst luck when it came to love. He managed a sour grin, then pushed the doorway open into the main lab.

"What the hell?"

.oOo.

Virginia peered over Janus' shoulder and stared at the two men who were bent over the main computer. _Dario? Romero?_ "What are you two doing here?"

"Boss?" Dario blinked at their former compatriot with startled eyes as Janus stalked forward towards them. "But you told us t'handle this place. And why're _they_ with you?"

"I. Told. You?" Janus' voice was strained, cold and deadly in its tone and entirely clean of its usual hick accents. "Explain."

Romero shrugged. "Y'should know Hey. Ow!" The man rubbed his head ruefully where Janus had smacked him. "Janus!"

The deep breath Janus took was loud and obviously intended to calm. Equally obviously it failed as the blue-haired man yelled, "TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" At Virginia's hand on his arm, he glared angrily at her. Except beneath that anger was fear. Something was worrying him. Still, he said, more quietly. "C'mon, guys. Pretend for a moment that I have no clue what you've been up to since Ka Dingel. Give!"

Slowly Dario answered, "We looked around fer ya fer weeks. Finally found ya up at Laxisland. Ya told us ya needed some stuff from here 'n sent us t' get it."

From Janus' expression, one would have thought he'd swallowed a sour lemon. "Laxis land"

"Yeah. Ya were sick. Guess ya got better, huh, boss?"

The sour look got even worse and Virginia thought Janus was ready to explode. Instead, with a quiet that seemed all the more frightening for its silence, he murmured, "How do you know that was me?"

Dario shrugged. "Well, ain't like yer clone knows anythin' about us." He faltered and Virginia couldn't blame him. Janus had turned whiter than paper, eyes so wide she was sure they'd fall out. At the same time Dario stepped back, paling himself. "_Yer_ the clone, aintcha?"

.oOo.

The world was falling down around him. Janus simply stared at the two men he felt he ought to know. Men he'd worked with for years. Men who were, if not equals, allies and friends. There was an odd feeling that they'd been the only friends he'd had for a while. They and. It was no use. He couldn't remember. Couldn't prove himself to be anything more than the clone the man had just accused him of being.

_And I guess that _is_ all I am. The real Cascade is alive. All I am is his leavings the bits and pieces put together from _her_ memory._ He stumbled backwards. Turned and ran.

"JANUS!"

She was following him, which only made him run faster. He had to. Had to get away from the obvious truth. He had no idea where to go and no idea what to do, but he _had_ to get away. Instinct made him turn down one corridor, then another. Until he slammed his way through a doorway into a bedroom. _Trapped._

Panic left him as suddenly as it had appeared. Something about this room felt right. Felt safe. He stood there, staring blankly. A woman's room, decorated with soft drapery of a rose pink and lavender shade. A shelf filled with books, a dining table, a door leading to a bedroom, A couch, with big soft cushions, a vase with a single wilted flower. An ARMs - nearly identical to his own - hanging on the wall, unused for years. _Make him pay attention, Kez honey. It's not like he doesn't love you; Think of me as your little brother. I'll watch out for you; You're beautiful tonight. If he doesn't notice that, he doesn't deserve to._

He stopped in the doorway, aching from the very center of his being. Keziah. This was her room - though he'd spent a fair amount of time there too. She'd been in charge of teaching him, because while Pete had been the one with the smarts to create him, he hadn't the patience needed for lessons, nor the skills. Pete had never had much in the way of people smarts and couldn't have fired an ARMs to save his life. They'd been one big happy family, though.

Moving slowly into the room, he traced his finger through a fine patina of dust, paused to gaze at a picture on the wall. Two men with a lovely young woman between them. The one on the right a studious looking man with light hair, dressed in a white lab coat, the other himself, gold eyes amused and mildly self-mocking. The girl's face was heart-shaped, with blue eyes and blonde hair. She was dressed in leather pants and a loose fitting rough shirt under a fringed cape. The face was familiar, the face of the woman working in Little Twister's one hotel.

"She looks like Claudia!"

He nodded at Virginia's exclamation, forcing himself not to look at her, another memory coming to him. Keziah's face. Keziah's voice. But not Keziah. The only thing he could remember was kneeling in this room and weeping for everything and everyone he'd lost. _And that's the only reason I remember it at all. Because bits and pieces of the _real_ Janus Cascade were left here._

"Her sister?"

"Her name was Keziah," he said quietly, gazing down at the picture, fingers rubbing gently at the small ring on its chain around his neck. "A Drifter working for the Council. Like Janus. Pete's girl. Janus loved her, too."

.oOo.

Virginia realized why Janus was talking about himself in the third person before she opened her mouth to put her foot in it. Instead she watched him, standing straight and lonely in the middle of the room, staring at the portrait of his past. He seemed to radiate a hollow, empty, feeling, a devastation so deep that she wondered if he could recover.

"We don't know that that other Janus is the real one," she said finally, refusing to let him drive himself any deeper.

"It makes sense though. I didn't know there was another. I didn't know about this place until your father told us about it. Everything I know. Everything I remember. All of it is just the memories of a pile of nano-machines. I don't exist. I'm nothing." His voice was raw and agonized.

A part of her wanted to reach out and just hold him. Another part wanted to slap him for being a whining angst-puppy. She did neither. "You exist," she said firmly. "Wasn't it you who said you could deal with just being a copy?"

He snorted. "Yeah? Well, we've already established that, whatever else I am, I'm an inconsistent mess of ideas and emotions."

"Welcome to the human race, Janus. We all are." It occurred to Virginia that, for all his understanding of how people worked, all his skill in human interaction, Janus had certain blind spots about what it meant to _be_ human. _Or, at least, an ideal image of being human._ She said as much and when he stared at her blankly, added, "When you, or whomever the old Janus Cascade was, realized that it wasn't possible to be a perfectly upright man did you ever consider being something in-between? Not perfectly good and not rotten?"

He continued staring at her. "I..."

"You don't have to be perfectly selfless and you don't have to be perfectly selfish, Janus."

Irritably, but with an undertone of humor, Janus grumbled, "Why the hell do you have to go and make sense, Ginny?" He looked at his hands and shook his head. "I look human. I feel human. Guess it's high time I acted it?"

Virginia nodded emphatically. "You can act human when you're looking demonic too, by the way." At his chuckle, she smiled. She'd managed to get him out of his sulk. _And without fighting with him, too._ That was, in itself, a small triumph. "So, what do you want to do now? Do we go on with what we were doing? Find out more about who you were? Or do we decide that you're not really Janus and figure out a new identity for you?"

.oOo.

It was frightening to realize that not only could he choose his future Self now, but that he was the only one who had the right to. Virginia was making it clear that it was all up to him and the understanding that he was the master of his own fate sent chills up his spine. Still, the mind that had once been Janus Cascade's was sharp and more than slightly cunning. Clone or not, that mind was still part of who he was and was still capable of planning and scheming.

"Find out more," he said finally. "I look like Cascade. I feel like Cascade. I don't know if I _am_ Cascade, but I don't know if the other one is either. For all I know, we're both copies and _he_ just figured things out sooner. Whatever the reasons, he and I will need to come to terms. And before I do that I want every advantage I can possibly have."

Virginia had that look on her face and he didn't need their link to know what she was going to say. Before she could open her mouth he added, "If he's Cascade, or even a reasonable facsimile, he's going to be doing the same, Ginny love. And depending on how he's decided to be, that could be a bad thing for my continued health and well-being. Much less my continued survival."

It was obvious that his beloved didn't like it. Equally obvious that she had to acknowledge that as the truth. The bits and pieces that had made up Janus Cascade had been complex and confused and some parts had been quite a bit worse than he was now. "It's obvious," he added reassuringly, "That he's up to something. Sending Dario and Romero here's sorta a big clue. I don't necessarily want to fight him for the privilege of being Janus Cascade, but I don't want him getting any ideas on being the one and only."

She nodded. "Do you want to use a different name?"

He straightened. "For the moment, I'm Janus. Not the only one, but damned if I'm going to drop a name I'm used to just because someone else out there shares it. After we meet... if I'm still around... I'll decide what to do."

"Right. I'll talk to the others. I'll help you, certainly. I owe you that much. It looks like things are getting dangerous, though, depending on what sort of person that other Janus is. So I'm going to let them decide what they want to do." Virginia smiled wryly. "Though I'm betting they'll come along."

Janus couldn't help but agree. "It's better than hiding under a rock from the Ark of Destiny folk," he added.

.oOo.

Pete Inkapilia's work room was at the bottom of the complex, reachable only by an elevator that responded to Janus as if he belonged there. To Virginia, it was yet another bit of proof that he wasn't just a mass of someone else's shattered memories. Janus obviously disagreed, but refused to fight about it. "I'm just saying it doesn't prove a thing, Ginny love."

It was aggravating, especially because Virginia had to admit he was right. Jet added, "Does it really matter, anyway? Whatever he is, it's getting us in." The young man rolled his eyes. "Honestly, you two are over-thinking things."

"I have to agree," Clive murmured as the elevator drew to a halt. "It cannot be denied that our Janus here is a real person..."

"And a real pain in the rump, sometimes," Gallows interjected and received a glare from his three partners. "What?"

Laughter echoed in the elevator, surprising Virginia. She kept forgetting how calmly Janus took insults. She sometimes wished she had that talent. "When you got talents, kid, go with 'em." Janus shrugged, "Don't sweat it, gang. It's not like I don't know I'm a troublemaker. Or parts of me was... or..." His voice faded away as the lights came on in the large room beyond, his gold eyes widening with a startled look in them. "Oh _yeah_."

Virginia followed his gaze but couldn't see what it was that was making him so excited. The room beyond wasn't much different from any of the other laboratories they'd been in before. Well, cleaner, certainly. A set of machines were working their way from one end of the room to the other, one sweeping dust, another sucking it up and a third wiping the floor. A large empty glass jar stood across from her, similar to the ones Malik had used for his mother's clone, or those they'd seen in the lab where Jet had been created. Beside it stood another, smaller, glass case. This one, however, held a familiar looking weapon.

Janus' bayonet.

.oOo.

Moving slowly, feeling foolishly certain it would disappear if he rushed in, Janus leaned the Dark Sword against the nearest wall and slid the case open. "They fixed it," he murmured, caressing the stock, feeling the living metal respond to his touch. He glanced over at Virginia, who'd come to join him while the others explored the room curiously. "It got smashed at Ka Dingel. I... sort of... remember bringing it here for the machines to fix."

Virginia looked like she wanted to point out that that was more proof that he wasn't just a copy created by her memories but stopped herself in time. He grinned. "Yeah, I could be picking those memories up from whatever the real Janus left behind, last time he was here. And the other Cascade may remember it too. This may have been what Dario and Romero were sent to get him. If it is, it's his misfortune and my _good_ fortune that I have it now." He shrugged, picking up the bayonet and grinning at it happily. "Hullo love. Miss me?"

"Y'know, that thing has got to be the biggest case of overcompensation I've ever seen, Janus." Virginia was apparently settling for returning snide for snide, something he could deal with a lot better than the sympathy and concern she'd been radiating up until now.

"Hey!" Clive's voice from the other side of the room elicited two grins in his direction. "I think I've just been insulted."

While Janus and the others laughed at her, Virginia struggled to regain her composure. "Clive, you're the tallest of us. That shotgun of yours is big, but it's not taller than _you_ are. Janus here is shorter than you are and his gun just as big! If that isn't overcompensation for something, nothing is."

Still laughing, Janus carried the gun across the room to the doorway he knew led into the testing range. "Sure it's overcompensation, Ginny my love, but it's _fun_ overcompensation." As she gave him that look of utter disbelief that he'd come to regard as almost as good as fondness he tossed her a pair the ear protectors sitting on the table near the door. "Here. I'll show you."

.oOo.

Virginia glanced at her fellows. Gallows and Jet were following her but Clive just sort of waved her on as he examined the computer against the wall. Then she went into the long room and watched Janus carefully and lovingly load his weapon. He really could be such a big kid when it came to fighting. She could almost sense his pleasure in the near ritual of arming himself. Then he hit a button that set a target shaped like one of the monsters they'd fought near the Fortune Gear temple sliding back and forth.

As he raised the bayonet in one hand she quickly put on her ear protection. It was just in time as the ARMs fired across the room, its bullets striking the target with the precision she remembered. The look on his face was joyful, as if, for the first time, he really was feeling himself. _And maybe he is. The Dark Spear is a cool toy but he was made for that rifle and it was made for him. He obviously missed it. No matter how much fun he had cutting things up._

As if he couldn't help himself, Gallows moved into position beside Janus. Janus glanced at him momentarily, moved sideways and muttered, "Left arm, near the elbow." Gallows took the shot, blowing the target away easily.

"Right antenna," the big Baskar answered, and Janus raised a brow, then took the target out. A moment later, Jet was on his other side, joining into the game. Virginia couldn't help herself, she moved forward and took her own turn.

"Can't you speed this thing up?"

"The switch is on your side. Turn it right for faster, left for slow. Better turn on the automatic reload, too or we'll be outta target." Virginia followed Janus' instructions then focused on what she was doing. It felt good, in an odd way, to just settle into the pattern of firing. No one getting hurt, no one in any danger. Just the continuous 'bang' 'bang' 'bang' of their ARMs.

At last, though, the targets stopped coming and Janus sighed. "Going to have to refill, looks like." He stepped back and grinned that grin at Virginia, who found herself unable to avoid grinning back. "See what I mean, though?"

Virginia holstered her weapons and shrugged. "Okay, so I'll admit that that's fun. Doesn't mean I think you need a giant ARMs to get anywhere." She stepped back, startled, as he swung his weapon down and handed it to her. "What?" The rifle was surprisingly light and easily held, considering its size.

"Try it."

Now that was just silly. ARMs had to be specially configured to the wielder in order to be fired. That was why Jet had had to have a specialized ARMs made from the planet's lifeforce just as her pistols were made to be compatible with herself. _Well, strictly speaking, they were made for Daddy. It's just because I'm his daughter that I didn't need to have them reconfigured._ "Janus..." she started to protest.

He moved behind her, hands adjusting her position. It was a startlingly familiar moment and it took her a moment to realize why. There wasn't the same size difference but a strong male hand on hers, supporting her arm and guiding her aim... just like her father used to do so long ago. She nearly leaned into him but forced herself to hold still. "I can't fire your..." Her finger pulled the trigger and she felt the weapon respond to her as if it were her own.

The last remnants of the target were shredded away by the blast.

.oOo.

"All right, Janus. Give. You knew I'd be able to fire that thing. Why?"

The five of them were settled around dining table in the living quarters that Janus - sort of - remembered as being his own personal space. Janus kicked his feet back, feeling rather pleased with himself. The memories were coming a bit clearer now, a bit more certain, and it made him feel more confident in himself. Copy, clone or all that was left of Cascade, he had a life and a purpose. _And a past. Even if it isn't entirely my own._

"I remembered another little bit of trivia," he answered, patting his rifle and grinning at her. "Remember where the nano-machines came from that I was built from? Not to mention Baby here?" At Virginia's puzzled look he rubbed his hand through his hair. "Ginny, love. Your father, or whatever that was we met up at Yggdrasil told you. He donated them from his ARMs. You were so busy worrying about how to get me fixed that I guess you didn't listen close."

A frown crossed Virginia's features, then her eyes widened. "Oh you're right." Then her expression shifted as another realization hit her. "Janus, is that why _I'm_ the only one who can... affect you?" At his grin she dropped her head forward, obviously at a loss for words. When he started chuckling she lifted her face and glared at him. "What? What's so funny?"

"Well..." He couldn't help it. "I'm your ARMs. Want to fire me?"

When she smacked him upside the head, he started laughing in earnest.

.oOo.

It took Virginia several minutes to fight down the blush that suffused her cheeks. She didn't dignify Janus', or her companions', howls of laughter with any further remarks, however, simply turning and - as coolly as she could manage - asking Clive, "Did you find anything interesting?" To her irritation, it took even Clive several minutes to recover from the moment.

Finally, eyes turning serious from behind their thick lenses, Clive shook his head. "Every computer in the place is in the same state the ones we found elsewhere were. Bits and pieces of data, tantalizing hints of what happened." He sighed, disappointedly. "The problem being that we really didn't need to know most of what I found there."

"Most?" Virginia asked. "That suggests you found at least one thing."

Going to the computer, Clive opened up the box that he'd taught Virginia and the others was called a 'printer'. "Here," he said. "Look at the roller." When Virginia got up and joined him, she saw there were words hammered into the black cylinder, barely legible owing to other words beneath them. It would have been impossible to read if those lower words were different from the upper, but the line was the same, repeated over and over and over again, all around the cylinder.

"Janus. Everything going wrong. Get Keziah. Get out. Betrayed. Doran. Betrayed. Get out of town" Janus' voice was harsh and strained as he spoke the words that he apparently didn't even need to look at to know. "I tried, Pete. It was too late by the time I read your message. She was already gone." His laughter had died away as quickly as it had started. "You. Changed. Everyone. Changed. The whole damned world. Changed. And only me and those three bastards to remember the way things were."

Virginia put a hand on Janus' shoulder and was surprised when he didn't refuse the gesture. He managed a smile at her, though his gold eyes had a suspiciously damp look to them. "We know what Yggdrassil's crash did already. Leehault. Malik. Melody your father. They managed to escape. I watched everything change around me and couldn't figure out why _I_ wasn't affected." He looked at his hands. "Everyone who knew anything about Yggdrassil were turned into whole new people, their minds and their thoughts remade. Only their bodies remained." He swallowed. "Claudia's not Keziah's sister, Ginny. She's Keziah's body, walking around with a whole new person inside her. Just like Pete... became." He choked, "...Just like everybody in this town. It wasn't always the way it is now."

Big hands pushed downward on the table as Janus rose to his feet. "I think, of all the things I don't want to remember, it's that. I was so excited over my ARMs just now, I was able to ignore the other memories here." He sighed, shook his head. "Let's go. There's nothing else we're going to learn here."

To Be Continued...


	7. Chapter 6: Past Pains, Future Fears

**The Persistence of Memory **  
By  
Deborah J. Brown

A Wild Arms III Alternate Universe story: Wild Arms III is copyrighted to RPG Dreamers and Sony.

* * *

**_Chapter 6: Past Pains, Future Fears _**

The horse beneath Janus shifted nervously, its tail flicking a fly away from its rump. He really didn't know why he was waiting. One traveled faster than five, especially when one of that five had places to go and people to be. It would be easier, he thought, to just run off. He had a human form again, had as much of a life as he was likely to have. He could leave Virginia and her concerns for him behind, could escape the memories that seemed only to bring him more pain.

He could. He didn't want to. He'd been alone in a crowd, the only one with any memories whatsoever of the past except for three mad beings masquerading as formerly respected masters. Even his creator had been changed, become the man that he strongly suspected Pete had wanted to be. He'd accepted it, let the Prophets convince him that there was no choice in the matter, and had even befriended the man Pete had become. They'd been partners, helping the Prophets' plans and slowly being twisted up inside by the betrayals that had required. He couldn't quite remember what had happened next, but he knew losing Pete's new self had been the final straw for him, the last shove over the precipice into amorality.

Despite that past, though, he was becoming friends with these four. Though still something of an outsider to the group, they'd accepted his presence without complaint and treated him as an equal. Somehow, he simply couldn't let go of that easily. "Took you long enough t'catch up," he told Virginia mildly as she brought her horse to a halt beside his.

She sighed. "My horse was in a mood. He wanted to play." Janus knew perfectly well that she'd delayed on purpose, giving him a moment to recover from the latest set of memories he'd absorbed. "Are you all right? Ka Dingel had to have been hard on you."

"Well now, I won't say I'm feeling one hundred percent. Getting beat up by a girl was bad enough. Getting turned into a demon" Janus rubbed at his chest ruefully and shoved those thoughts aside. Instead, he looked out onto the grassy plain that had somehow survived Yggdrassil's crash. It wasn't a hundred percent, either. The thick grass that had come up to his waist was gone, leaving behind a short, tough, scrub grass that - while attractive - held nothing of the beauty that had been. To their south, sunlight gleamed gold upon the sea of sand, flickering light reminiscent of the sea that had been there long ago. If he squinted he could almost see the past. Almost. "Guess it's time to look at the map again. Decide where to go next."

To his surprise, Virginia put a hand on his arm. Shook her head. "Janus, this isn't making you any stronger than you were. It's tearing you apart." At his expression she tried to smile and failed. "Please. The only memories we know how to find are the ones where you and I fought. We already know about that."

It seemed impossible to disagree and he was too stubborn to accept. "What's the matter, Ginny? Afraid I'll revert?"

.oOo.

It was becoming easier and easier to predict. Those moments when Janus felt pressured, uncertain or outright scared. Virginia glanced back at Ka Dingel, remembering his desperate effort to keep her from seeing just how much the memories left there had hurt him. Those particular bits of his Self were from the moment the Prophets had sacrificed him to their plans, had made him into the demon that still hid within his cells. She couldn't blame him for hurting and she said as much, ignoring his question.

Startled eyes glanced her way, then quickly hid their vulnerability by rolling with overdone impatience. She couldn't blame him for that either. His life, lately, had to feel rather like a mine cart without a driver, rising and falling and completely out of control. If there was anything she knew about Janus, it was that he hated not being in control of the situation. "Or did you like it?" she asked, carefully keeping her eyes ahead of them. "It turned you into something powerful, made you nearly invincible. Practically a God."

He made a peculiar sound, half frustration, half amusement. "How do you do that?" At her curious expression, he continued, "Your the most naïve woman I ever met, and I've met a few in my time. Even if I don't remember them."

"And?" They'd already established that Virginia was naïve, so she saw no point in fighting over it further.

"Yet you still manage to figure me out when I can't figure myself out." Janus sighed, looking at her. "Yeah, it was a rush. Right then, it felt like I could do anything. Like I could take on the world, even the Prophets, and make it be what I wanted it to be. I was wrong."

Turning to look at him, Virginia asked, "I won't argue if you want to keep this up," she told him. "I still think it's only going to hurt you. And it isn't just because I'm afraid you'll revert. I am, but I'm going to trust you." At his raised brow, she smacked him. "But not any further than I can throw you, Cascade. You go all megalomaniac on us again, I'll personally turn you back to your component nano-machines and toss you in the Abyss."

He started to laugh, her glare only making him laugh harder. "There is no talking to you," she grumbled. "Let's go to the inn and decide where to go next."

.oOoOoOo.

Clive's map of Filgaia was so big it had to be propped open with four beer mugs. At its center was the Inner Sea, dwarfed by the sheer size of the map and the other land masses. Clive's traced their travels since leaving Little Twister. "We've been to the Unclean Mark, Lunatic Garden, Serpent's Coils and Ka Dingel. The only other places we've met Janus are the Jolly Roger, Ruins of Memory, the Sand Canal, Fortune Gear and Infinitum."

"Boot Hill," Janus corrected. "And the train where we first met." He paused, "Though I don' think we'd get much from that. Anything of me from that meeting is probably scattered hither and yon." The memory was strangely precious to him, that moment when he'd first seen Virginia and been both awed and enraged by the innocence and determination of the rookie Drifter. "Which is a pity, because I think that was one of m' favorite memories." He laughed, "Well, that and watching you take on the Guardians. Don't mind saying I was sort of rooting for you."

All four of the others made a startled noise and he frowned. "What?"

"You were there? When we were tested?" Virginia stared at him, her blue eyes bewildered. He didn't know why she was so surprised. Surely she'd known he was there, watching them from the heights. She had to be, right? It was the only way he'd have those memories. The realization hit him as Virginia said, "I didn't know you were watching us. And we haven't been there since we met you. Unless you had been there before that?"

It was such a tiny thing, a memory that - if he were simply a clone picking up old memories as he went along - should not have been his. As tiny and fragile as the flowers that Virginia's mother had favored. Tiny, fragile and at the same time the source of hope. Janus looked at the others. "I wasn't," he said finally. Then he smiled, "You know, I don't think we need to be getting' any more bits and pieces of me right now."

Virginia blinked at him and he continued, "Your right, Ginny m'love. Every one of those bits we know of were from times when we were hurting each other. I got enough memory of 'em to know that. I don't need more of the same to know about that."

Big hands tugged at long, wavy locks as Gallows glared at Janus. "Then why the hell have we been running around all over the place visiting old territory?"

"Just lucky, I guess," Jet answered dryly. "Whatsa matter, Gallows? Homesick?"

Rather to Janus' surprise, the big Baskar paused. Frowned. "Y'know, that isn't a bad idea, actually." At the other's confused looks, he explained, "Granny might have some thoughts on the matter. Not to mention little brother. We always went to them when things were confused. Maybe that's what we should be doing now?"

Virginia summed up Janus' - and most likely the others thoughts for them - putting a hand on her large companion's arm. "Gallows, that's the best idea you've had all week."

The Baskar shaman looked like he wasn't sure if that was an insult or a compliment.

.oOoOoOo.

"Sit still."

"That hurts!"

"The more you wiggle around, the more it's going to hurt. Now sit still."

Virginia forced back a grin as she watched Gallows' grandmother march slowly around Janus. The pale haired Drifter was sitting uncomfortably in the center of the room, eyeing the old woman as she moved, flinching every time she poked him with her stick and muttered some words. Little flares of magical energy would accompany those pokes, though, so Virginia was fairly sure that Granny wasn't - entirely - doing so to be irritating.

At last the old woman stopped and stepped back. "Well, that's about it." She walked over to the edges of the chalk circle she'd drawn around Janus. "He's about as alien to our kind as the Elw were. In the opposite way." It took Virginia a moment to remember the story she'd been told about the Elw, about how the natives to this world had fought with the humans who had come later and had finally become allies, but too late to prevent the world's slow decay. They were part of Filgaia, unlike the nano-machines that made up Janus' body.

Virginia couldn't help but sympathizing with Janus' grumble, "We _told_ you that." Her new companion climbed to his feet and brushed off his pant legs before leaning against a wall and watching the old woman. "That's not why we're here."

"What do you want me to do, boy? Wave my staff and make you human? You're as human as you're going to be. Plenty human enough to live in this world." The old woman stopped fussing with the by now cleaned up chalk and glared up at Janus. "You don't need my permission to be alive. Go out and live. Enjoy it. Stay out of trouble for once."

The protest escaped Virginia's lips before she could stop it. "But what about the other Janus?"

"What about him. Let him go do what he wants. Deal with him if he bothers you. Haven't you children had enough yet?" Somehow the question seemed unfair, considering that everything they'd been through until then had been partly at her instigation. "Aren't you tired of being tricked?"

"_You're _the one that's afraid, aren't you?" Virginia demanded, suddenly understanding. "You're afraid that anything you or Shane see of the future will be another Dream demon trying to manipulate you."

Oddly, it was Janus who came to the old woman's defense. "You can hardly blame her. Look at what nearly happened. Clive told me all about Beatrice. Told me all about how she used everyone. No one wants something like that to happen again. Not even the Prophets. Not even Siegfried."

It was all wrong, yet articulating what was wrong about it seemed impossible. Still, Virginia had to try. "If Granny _hadn't_ sent us out at all then the Prophets would have won. Siegfried would have turned this planet into a war machine. Sure, we were manipulated. Sure, Beatrice _could_ have destroyed everything in her desire to recreate the world in her image."

Two pairs of eyes watched Virginia, neither owner speaking, both waiting for her to come to some conclusion. "But we can't live our lives doing only the same safe things. We can't stand at the precipice, unable or unwilling to choose another path away from it and too scared to take a step forward and fly. You two can hide in a cave if you want. I have better things to do with my life."

.oOo.

Very slowly, Janus clapped his hands. It was a talent, he reflected. That ability to face the unknown and be willing to leap into it, trusting fate, trusting self. Burned and burned again, but still leaping into that fire without thought. Without fear. _How can she bear to? _

Virginia's cheeks were bright red but there was determination in her expression that said that, no matter how he responded, she had made her choices. Naïve, trusting and ultimately, everything that had been taken from him. _And everything I desire._ He couldn't speak, not without showing her how strongly he felt that, afraid to lose her by one wrong word.

"I know," she said quietly. "I'm too innocent. Too ignorant of the world. I don't understand and in a lot of ways I don't want to. I can't make the world in my image. I don't think I should. But I don't want to give up what's most valuable to me, my ability _to_ trust, just because there are people I can't trust out there. Remember what I said before, Janus? You don't have to be all selfish or all selfless? Well you don't have to be _all_ trusting or all distrusting, either."

There was a moment of silence and Janus was almost sure that everything he felt, everything he wanted most was written clear on his face. "You're right. You _are_ too innocent." Before she could protest angrily, he added, "But you know? I've already tried another path down from the precipice. I don't have wings. So this time, I guess I'll just have to borrow yours." He turned to look at Gallows' grandmother, ignoring Virginia's startled expression. "In any case, it seems you have a problem. Care to explain?"

The old woman's eyes narrowed as she gazed at Janus, as if she were trying to make him uncomfortable enough to drop the subject. The trouble was, she wasn't his grandma and he didn't have any training that had taught him to respect the elderly, so he just gazed back at her, raising his eyebrows and waiting. _Two can play this game, Granny._

At last, with a sigh, Granny said, "Shane won't dreamsee anymore. He's afraid of being manipulated again. My own abilities aren't strong enough anymore - I'm too old. I can sense something wrong but no details." She sat on a nearby rock and shook her head. "It's a small thing right now, but so was the Prophets' experiment. Filgaia is afraid, but she is not sure what it is she fears."

Determination filled Virginia's voice as she spoke. "Then we need to talk to Shane."

.oOo.

"I'm telling you, I can't!"

Gallows' little brother was pacing up and down in the tiny living area of their house, his pale blue eyes scared and unhappy, the dark circles under them stark against the pallor of his skin. His arms were wrapped around his skinny frame and he was refusing to meet anyone's eyes, refusing to let even his brother touch him.

"Shane," Virginia began, but Gallows stopped her. At his questioning look, she nodded. This _was_ more his area of expertise than hers, after all.

Taking Shane by the arm, Gallows forced the boy to sit down and sat on the floor beside the small shaman. "Shane," he said softly. "Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. Are your dreams telling you something terrible? You look like you haven't been sleeping well."

"NO!" Shane shook his head. Shuddered. "No," he said more quietly. Then, tone ashamed, "I'm not dreaming at all. I haven't dreamed since you destroyed Beatrice. No prophecies. No warnings. No dreams whatsoever. Not even real dreams."

Dark eyes frowning, Gallows eyed his brother. "Can't? Or won't?" The question surprised Virginia. Not because it was something she wouldn't have asked. She already suspected she knew what was wrong. No, it surprised her that it was Gallows asking. Thinking about it, though, it occurred to her that Gallows' talents were more on the intuitive side. It made sense. He always did lead with his heart.

Again the boy shuddered. Then he sighed. "I screwed it all up. If I hadn't let Her trick me"

"She tricked older and wiser heads than yours, kid," Janus pointed out in a tone that sounded like he was trying to be comforting, "Bryant wasn't an idiot and he still betrayed Yggdrassil and the Council to obey her." Shane shot him an agonized look and Gallows glared at him. "Uh. I'll shut up now."

"Good idea, Janus," Gallows growled at him. "Let me handle this." He turned back to his brother and said quietly. "Yeah. She tricked you. She tricked us all. But you know, even if you hadn't listened to her, she would have found another way to put a spoke in the Prophets' wheel. We might never have been involved at all and we'd never have had a chance to stop her. She used us all as her weapons and we turned in her hand. You included."

Virginia nodded to herself as Shane's expression relaxed. She'd been right in thinking Gallows could handle the boy. His little brother looked small and fragile and, physically, he was. But beneath that apparent weakness was a strong spirited young man who chafed at his bonds and longed for adventure. Janus' attempt at kindness hadn't helped because, to Shane, it was too close to the coddling he must feel he got entirely too much of.

"I I did dream a few things a week or so back," Shane admitted. "It scared me, so I fought them. He looked at Virginia. "A dragon. A dragon burning a garden. But that's impossible. There's no garden like that in the world." At Virginia's puzzled expression, he continued, "It was full of plants, all flourishing. Plants don't grow that way anymore. It was something beautiful and it was being destroyed."

The realization hit hard. Shane was wrong, there _was_ a garden of the sort he described. One such garden left in all the world. Florina's garden, in its tiny corner of the world. She looked at the others, fear rising. As Jet ran out the door, she and her old companions followed behind, barely keeping up.

Behind them, Janus called out plaintively, "Hey? Where are you going? Hey!"

.oOoOoOo.

"so you see, we have to get there. Maybe we'll be too late, but that garden is one of the only things that might help save Filgaia."

Janus tightened his knees as his horse leapt over the chasm. He couldn't even pretend to understand the situation. He did, however, have faith in Virginia's ability to find people who needed her to save them. It was, he thought, a talent of hers. Too, even if he didn't understand how such a garden could exist, he _did_ understand its significance. Trouble was, there was a faint scent on the air that he didn't like. The acrid scent of very distant smoke. "How far away is this garden," he demanded as they galloped around an impossibly thick forest.

Clive glanced his way. "About ten miles," he answered. "And yes, I know what that means." He sniffed the air, then shook his head. "We may be too late, Virginia. Jet! Slow down, you'll injure your horse."

The call was useless. For some reason Jet seemed to take the danger to the garden and its young mistress personally. He hadn't stopped his headlong race for a moment since they'd left the Baskar colony. By now he was far ahead of them, quite likely too far for him to hear Clive at all.

With a shrug, Janus spurred his horse again, keeping the animal moving. There obviously was no point in trying to talk to the kid. "Just ride," he said coolly. "He isn't listening."

They raced along, wind tearing at them, and the smell grew stronger. An ugly, bitter smell that mixed - oddly - with other, more pleasant odors that reminded Janus of the scent of the Baskar Shamans' incense. Beneath that, though, was another odor. The scent of burning fuel. Virginia made a startled sound and he glanced her way.

"Now I understand," she whispered. "Shane said it was a dragon that attacked the garden. That smells like Lombardia's flames. But why why would she"

With a shrug, Janus jumped his horse over a swath of charred ground. There was no smoke left, which meant the attack had been a bit ago, a week perhaps? "No idea, Princess. Let's cross that bridge when we come to it." The damage was getting worse as they closed in on the garden. It was impossible now to avoid and Janus hoped the ground was stable. Last thing he needed was for the animal to falter.

Then they reached an impossibility. Right at the center of the horrifically burned landscape was a building. Surrounded by a circle of greenery, it gleamed like a jewel amid the scorched earth. At the center, two figures stood beside a flourishing garden. Jet and a small blonde girl wearing a demure dress and a straw hat. Jet was holding her by the shoulders, looking into her eyes. At their approach, both stopped and looked at the others.

Janus brought his horse to a halt. "Marielle?" he said, disbelievingly.

.oOo.

"Marielle?" The name startled Virginia. She could vaguely remember reading a book about the Elws, however, as well as the name of the last of those mythic creatures. She wanted to protest that the girl's name was Florina but it suddenly made sense. Her skill with plants. Her seeming attraction to Jet. The Elw were close to the earth, nearer to it than any other living thing on Filgaia except perhaps Jet. She would have sensed his nature, even when he hadn't known it himself.

The girl pushed Jet behind her, expression stern, the grimmest Virginia had ever seen it. Nor could the young Drifter blame her. Florina, or Marielle if that really was whom she was, must have had a terrible time. "Are you all right?"

Ignoring Virginia, Marielle gazed levelly at Janus. "Haven't you done enough damage here? Didn't you learn your lesson?" As they all stared at her, she raised her hand, a pale green glow forming around it. "Shall I teach it to you again, monster?"

She didn't even have to stop to think about it. Virginia spurred her horse forward to block whatever it was Marielle planned to do. "Get out of the way!" Two voices spoke simultaneously. Marielle's and, from behind Virginia, Janus'. "Don't protect that thing!" "I don't need you to protect me."

Feeling as grim as Marielle, Virginia shook her head. Behind her, Janus was trying to move his horse so that she was no longer shielding him. At the same time Marielle was trying to get around so she had a better shot or whatever. Looking at the landscape, Virginia was pretty sure that the Elw girl could hurt Janus badly, considering that she was apparently strong enough to fight off the dragon that had attacked her land. "Stop it. Both of you."

"He destroyed acres of land. Centuries of effort. He would have destroyed my garden if I hadn't stopped him." Marielle moved again and Virginia shifted her horse to keep Janus blocked from her view. "Girl, why do you protect him. Don't you have any idea what he is?"

"I know exactly what he is. He didn't do this." Virginia was beginning to realize what must have happened. "There's another one of him out there. We don't know which one's the real one, if either are, but this Janus Cascade is _not_ the one who attacked you. He's been with us all this time."

Jet put a hand on Marielle's shoulder. "Florina, she's telling the truth. Even if you don't trust him, and Guardians know you have no reason to, trust us. Trust _me_."

For a moment Virginia thought the Elw would push Jet aside and ignore him. Then she sighed. "Come inside. We will talk."

.oOo.

Janus shifted uncomfortably, very aware of the dislike with which the Elw girl was regarding him. Even being told the story of their recent adventures, Marielle wasn't - quite - willing to warm to him. Not that he blamed her, considering what that other Janus Cascade had done to her.

"I had had dealings with him before, when he was helping the Council. He had been trustworthy enough then, for all his alien nature. I did not know he had changed." Marielle glanced Janus' way then looked back at Virginia. "He came with Lombardia, who had been _your _trusted companion against Siegfried and against Beatrice. I thought him your friend."

Biting at the tip of a gloved finger thoughtfully, Virginia gazed off into space. "You fought him off a week ago, you said. And Dario and Romero said that they met him - sick or injured - in Laxisland. You must have hurt him."

Janus couldn't help but push Virginia's hand away from her mouth. "Stop that," he told her. "It's childish." He turned his attention to Marielle, ignoring Virginia's grumble. "Did he just go off and attack or did he have some point to being here?" He was betting on the latter, pointless violence of this sort would have been noticed by a lot more people, especially when one considered that his other Self apparently had control of one of the most powerful weapons on Filgaia. That and, if the other one really _was_ Janus, or even an incomplete copy, pointless violence wasn't their style.

Tones cool, Marielle kept her eyes on Virginia as she answered Janus' question. "He wished my entire crop. Everything that I had grown and stored since you had helped me find those lost plants. When I refused, he ordered Lombardia to attack."

Virginia's fingers rose towards her mouth before she glanced at Janus and lowered them. A quick glare at Clive followed, for the big man was fighting down a grin. "You be quiet," she told him before asking, "How did he get control of Lombardia, I wonder? And how can we free her? I can't imagine her wanting to do something like this."

The idea that a creature built for war might not _want_ to fight ought to have been a difficult one to wrap one's mind around, but somehow, Janus understood it. Everything Virginia had told him about the metal dragon had made it clear that - after centuries of being only a tool, a weapon - Lombardia had wanted nothing more than to live quietly and at peace with the world. He felt a certain sympathy with that sentiment. It wasn't that he didn't want to fight anymore, but that he didn't want to be anyone's tool ever again. "Maybe there's a chance we can break her free of him, then. If she isn't a willing participant."

Apparently his proposal startled Virginia. "Are you saying we should rescue her? _You_?" He wasn't sure if he were more amused or hurt by the implication of her question and his wry smile seemed to make Virginia realize how little faith she was showing in him. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's a reasonable reaction. I'm still a pretty selfish bastard. And I'm not being selfless in this anyway," Janus grinned at her, deciding to be amused because he didn't want to examine his feelings too deeply. Virginia had already gotten entirely to far under his skin for his comfort. He leaned back. "Lombardia's the biggest, meanest n' most powerful dragon on Filgaia. Now part of that's 'cause she's the only dragon on Filgaia. On the other hand, she wouldn't be the last survivor if she weren't stronger than the rest."

"Granted," Clive agreed. "So you're worried that the other Janus will use her as a weapon? I think you're right." He leaned forward in his chair and looked at Virginia, "Leader, he may force us to hurt Lombardia. Even kill her. Yet we should still go. It is obvious that he is planning something and I don't think it's to anyone's benefit."

"Except his own," Jet said quietly.

To Be Continued...


	8. Chapter 7: A Dragon's Price

**The Persistence of Memory **  
By  
Deborah J. Brown

A Wild Arms III Alternate Universe story: Wild Arms III is copyrighted to RPG Dreamers and Sony.

* * *

**_Chapter 7: A Dragon's Price _**

They came to a halt, blocked by the great boulder that had once blocked their path from the other side. "I'd forgotten about this," Virginia sighed, aggravated. After several days travel just to reach the extinct volcano where they'd first met Lombardia, after hours of climbing up and down and up again, to find their plan prevented by the landscape was more than mildly irritating. Especially considering that she _ought_ to have remembered that this rock was here.

"Time to go back?" Gallows asked, about to turn around. He was looking rather frazzled. His size made the jumping and climbing required to get around the tunnels various steam vents and ladders a tricky thing. He was covered in sweat and very out of sorts with everyone right that minute. "We could ask around at the bar. Maybe even find that other Janus."

Big hands examined the rock. "Much as I dislike turning back myself," Clive admitted finally, "My bombs aren't strong enough to break us thru this thing." He paused, "Unless"

They all looked at Janus, who sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Do the dance and strut my stuff." He held out his ARMs to Virginia. "Here, hold this." A small grin crossed his face and Virginia knew perfectly well what he was thinking as she reached out to take the weapon. Somehow, Virginia managed not to respond to the expression, even with a blush, which only made him grin more broadly. "Be gentle, okay?"

"Would you just get on with it?" Virginia snapped.

With a laugh, Janus walked over to the boulder, the Dark Spear appearing in his hand, gleaming as if with his good humor. "Better get out of the way, kids. This is going to get messy."

As Virginia and the others got out of the way in a hurry, Janus slashed, and slashed and slashed again. His weapon shattered the rock to pebbles, the noise forcing Virginia to cover her ears against the rough sound. Rock scattered and fell in an avalanche of dust, pebbles and rocks that poured down through one of the chasms below.

As the dust cleared, Janus turned to face them as he bowed to Virginia. "Landscape reconstruction a specialty," he said. "Just for you, my dear. ACKKKKK!"

He disappeared in a cloud of dust, claws wrapped around his waist and pulling him backwards.

.oOo.

"Janus!"

The voice of his beloved was muffled by distance. _Not to mention a farking big metal dragon screaming in my face._ It would have terrified a braver man than he was and right now he was realizing he wasn't all that brave at all. Not grasped in the claws of a dragon, her breath hot in his face. _Please. No_. He would have put his hands up to protect himself but the dragons' claws prevented any movement.

"THIEF! LIAR! BETRAYER!" The dragon's yells were barely comprehensible, they were so loud. None the less, Janus realized that, for the second time that week, he was being blamed for something his other Self had done. "GIVE ME BACK MY CHILD, LITTLE DEMON, OR DIE!"

_Child? What the_ He struggled to speak, but her claws were too tight around him. He could barely breathe, much less speak. Below him, too far below him for his comfort, he could hear voices calling his name, calling Lombardia. The dragon wasn't listening however, and her claws tightened on him, crushing his ribs and eliciting a scream.

"Lombardia! Stop it!" Virginia's voice was louder this time but not loud enough to get the dragon's attention. Fear rose in him, caused internal signals to go off and dark energy to fill him. The Dark Spear, dropped when he'd been grabbed, came flying through the air to him. Within him, cells shifted and changed, connections formed. Darkness flickered around him and he embraced it.

The dragon gave a cry of pain as Janus' sword cut into its clawed hand. Then Janus - demon once more - dropped to the ground and spun around to face her, prepared to fight, Dark Spear readied. Only one thing stopped him. Virginia's arms around him, holding him still. "No. Janus. Don't!"

.oOo.

Virginia knew she could be doing something incredibly stupid. Janus had been scared, probably injured. His natural reaction would be violent, and in his current form, that violence might be beyond her ability to control. Beneath her arms his body seemed different, the same hard shell of flesh that surrounded his face and arms had covered him entirely, as if he'd reverted, not only to the demon she'd found in the caves, but to the demon he'd been before, when they'd fought. "Janus. Please!" She was going to lose him, she was sure of it.

Rather to her surprise, however, Janus held still, as if aware of the damage he could do her in his current state. "That that thing" he gasped from behind the grating that covered his mouth. "That oversized." He descended to vulgarities of the sort that Virginia barely understood. Beneath her arms, though, she could feel him shaking. Behind the anger in his voice was the sound of a badly frightened man.

"Shhh. It's okay. You're okay. She must be mad at that other Janus. She doesn't know. We'll protect you." She held on to him, hands pressed against the steel hard spikes of his hair, murmuring, barely making sense. It was, however, working. His trembling slowed. Stopped entirely. His breathing softened, until the terrified panting had faded to deep breaths. "It's okay."

Slowly, Janus returned to his human form and collapsed against Virginia, pressing his face against her chest, his body trembling in her arms. For a bare moment he stayed there, then forced himself upright. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

It was with both relief and regret that Virginia let him go. "You were scared. You had good reason to think you'd be killed. You just called on everything you had to save yourself." She rose to her feet and barely heard him mutter, "That too." She would have paused to puzzle out the comment, but she had to do something about the still infuriated Lombardia.

Jet, Gallows and Clive were trying to talk to the big dragon, blocking her path to Janus and it was only their prior friendship that was keeping her from knocking them aside. "Lombardia," she called, walking towards their old compatriot. "I know this sounds ridiculous, but that Janus isn't the one who harmed you."

The great head turned to look at Virginia, eyes glowing red. Slowly she seemed to calm down. "A clone? This one, or the other?" At Virginia's puzzled expression, Lombardia explained impatiently, "A life created from the cells of another. It would be easy for a demon such as his kind. Easier than for those like you." The huge metal form shifted, settled into a crouch, voice becoming quieter. "I apologize. If the other one had not stolen what is most precious to me, had not forced me to act in a way I find repugnant had not betrayed me with lies and double dealing"

Janus' voice came behind Virginia, calmer now. "Sounds like my other Self is as, or more, expert in winning friends and influencing people. You said something about a child?"

Virginia stared in shock. "A child? A baby dragon?"

.oOo.

As the others made various confused noises, Janus creaked his way up to where Lombardia was sitting. Apparently the return to human form wasn't accompanied by anything as useful as a return to full physical fitness. If anything, his ribs ached all the more for the twisting and pulling they'd received from the shape-shift. "How? They told me you're the last?" He gestured at his companions, trying not to look at Virginia. He'd nearly forgotten himself for a moment there, nearly let himself hope for things he had no right to hope for.

Lombardia eyed him, "Now I see. No, you are not that one. The cells within you are similar, yes, but there is a difference - an ability to connect with my kind that you do not have."

The reminder of his differences from the other Janus didn't help his state of mind. None the less, Janus shoved back the fear. "If you say so," he answered agreeably. "So, going to explain this child business? Or are we going to have to make wild guesses?" He knew only a little bit about metal dragons - most of it what Clive had told him during their trip here - but the one thing he understood was that they didn't reproduce the way most species did.

"My kind are formed of the same nano-machines as the metal demons. Of similar nano-machines to you, little demon, though much more complex. With the right knowledge, it is no great thing to reproduce ourselves." The great metallic voice hesitated. "To tell the truth, it required knowledge and materials I did not have. That other Janus came to me. Offered his aid. I have been the only metal dragon upon this world for so very long." Her voice trailed off. "I allowed him to convince me. I allowed him to command me as others had long ago. And my only reward was the loss of the child that he had helped me create, for he has stolen my son away and bound Talyn to his service."

Janus almost forgot himself enough to reach out and touch the behemoth. He didn't have any particular wish to reproduce, but he _had_ allowed himself to be persuaded into deeds that he later regretted. Deeds that were later rewarded by faithlessness and betrayal. _Though I'll grant I was no more faithful to Them than they were to me._ "Where'd he take the kid," he asked, forcing himself to stay on track. "Can you help us go after them?"

"I don't know for certain. Somewhere in the land to the north, where he got the material for my child's manufacture. In the ruins left behind when your enemies fell." Again Lombardia hesitated. "I will fly you to that place, yes. I will fly you wherever you ask to go, if it means finding my child. Yet I cannot fight. Even if I wished to battle my child, my weapons have been rendered useless by your other Self's trickery. It was because of this that I have not given chase, yet, for I have no way to fight him."

Another moment of silence.

"Yet I will fly."

.oOoOoOo.

It had been a very long time since Virginia had ridden within Lombardia's self, her hands grasping the controls that guided the great metal dragon through Filgaia's skies. Behind her, leaning against the side and gazing over the edge raptly, Janus was singing softly, something about the moon, the stars and the wild geese. He had a nice, if not particularly memorable voice and Virginia could - almost - pretend that they were just flying for the sheer sake of flying. If there was anything she'd missed after the war with Beatrice was over, it was this. There was nothing quite the same as soaring over the landscape. Somehow, it didn't surprise her that Janus seemed to share her enjoyment.

_If anything, it pleases me. I'm glad he can enjoy things like this._ She forced back the thought that she was also glad that he _shared_ some of her likes. That was a road neither he nor she was ready to walk down. Not until things were settled and they knew where he stood. Not until that other Janus was dealt with. For good or ill. _But I can't ignore one thing. Aside from his less than perfect honesty, he and I share a _lot_ of interests. Like much the same things. For much the same reason._ She felt more alive around him, pushed to think about things that she didn't ordinarily think about. Pushed to examine her motivations and her wishes, instead of simply going with the flow.

Once again Virginia pushed the thoughts aside. She was, she began to realize, starting to feel something other than pity, something other than concern, for the not-quite-trustworthy Drifter. It was a feeling that she knew might well turn to love if she let it. The question was, could she? _Should_ she?

"I said, we are nearly there." Lombardia's voice boomed over the speaker set into the panel in front of Virginia and she realized she'd been too distracted to listen. "Shall I land?" Looking thru the windshield, Virginia spotted the shattered remains of a building washed up on the sands. All that remained, she knew, of Siegfried's aerial fortress and his dreams of conquest.

"Yes. Land," Virginia started to say, only to be interrupted by a blast that missed them only because Lombardia's reflexes were as sharp as ever. Something was flying at them, a smaller dragon than Lombardia but much faster. "Get down, quick." She cursed. They should have realized this might happen. But why would the other Janus order the dragon he'd captured to attack something that could do him no harm whatsoever?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a strange chill and she reached for her Mediums. They were trembling, as if terrified or enraged. It was a feeling she'd had before. The awareness of the something fell and terrible approaching. _What? What is it?_ Behind her she could hear the others reacting as well, only Janus silent and confused.

Lombardia spun in mid air, forcing everyone against the straps holding them into her. "I cannot outrace him," she said tensely. "He is younger and stronger than I am." She dropped a good hundred feet and Virginia heard Janus cursing. "I can, however, outthink him. I will deposit you quickly. Then go." She headed for the nearest land, only to pull to a halt as her child zoomed past them and spun around, firing again. Once again the explosion missed, but by a narrower margin than before as Lombardia dropped downwards again.

Janus' curses had an odd tone to them. When he managed to get past the profanity, though, he growled, "Can you outthink that other me? Because he's piloting the kid."

A voice boomed overhead. "Why Ginny, m'love. What_ever_ are you doin', hangin' around with that faker? Can you not handle th' real thing?" Virginia lifted her face, squinting past the sunlight at the other dragon. A human form was standing on the creature's back, not even bothering with straps or controls. Dressed in all too familiar clothing, the man's appearance sent a shock thru her system that caused her to, almost automatically, check the man behind her.

They were identical. Down to the Dark Spear that both carried in their right hands.

.oOo.

Eyeing the man standing above them, Janus knew they were in trouble. Whomever it was, the real Janus, a copy or something else entirely, this man had power. He could feel it even this far away. That Dark Spear's power seemed to throb and pulse, thirsting for blood. His blood, he was almost certain. _That's the real thing. I haven't a hope in hell of fighting it. _

"Well, well, well. I could sense yer existence Copy Me but I did not expect you so soon. I shoulda known better. Shoulda realized that even a copy would have ambitions." The other Janus laughed, signaling his mount to drift lower. "Wouldja care to fight it out? Do ya think that foolish copy of my Spear is enough to defeat me?"

Janus shrugged and deliberately mimicked his twin's hick accent. "Well, y'know, I might be convinced t'try. Time was I'da given you exactly what yer asking for." He gave the other man a long considering look. "Course, round about that time, I think m'brains, or were they yours, weren't operatin' normal like." He was getting odd looks from his companions and he could only hope they could understand what he was up to. Especially when he wasn't sure himself. _He underestimates me for some reason. I want it to stay that way. If that means talking like Dario and Romero, I will. _

Another drift downwards and Janus nudged Virginia slightly with his foot. She didn't look at him, but he sensed her attention. He nudged her again, then nudged his ARMs towards her. "Y'see," Janus continued. "I think I could care less if'n I'm called Janus Cascade or Aloysius Brown. So if y'want th' name that badly, I'm inclined t'let you have it. It's just a name, after all. I don't have enough of my sorry _your_ memories t'be making it worth the arguin'." He let derision color his tone. Disdain for someone who would fight over a name clear in every word.

"Ah did not think _you_ were that much a coward," the other Janus murmured as Talyn kept moving closer. Janus slid his hand over Lombardia's control, eyeing his twin, even as Virginia, very slowly, slid her hand over the stock of his ARM, undoing her strap with the other hand.

"Don' know me too well, do ya?" Janus shrugged, smiling bitterly. "I gotta good idea 'bout _you_ though." He twisted the control, dropping Lombardia down, nearly into the Sea of Sand below them, then, as Talyn followed, raising her straight up as fast as he could. "NOW GINNY!"

She had his ARMs up and out, raising it over the windshield even as Talyn rose above them again. Her aim was good, but she wasn't used to firing a weapon that large, especially while standing on a moving surface. The first bullet missed and - warned - the other Janus dodged sideways. He took the bullet in his arm and fell backwards.

.oOo.

Virginia dropped to the floor and gasped. Janus' ARMs was too damned big and too damned unwieldy to fire without help. _And I'll be damned before I say that to him. I _know_ what he'll be thinking._ Instead, she clutched onto the pilot seat, trying to get upright, even as Janus guided Lombardia away from the area, pushing the dragon to her limits. He was yelling something but the wind, and the noise of Lombardia's engines were too loud. She could just barely hear him say, "I know who" The rest was lost.

_Later. When we're out of danger. I'll make him repeat that._ Behind them she glimpsed silver metal gleaming in the sunlight. "TALYN!" She yelled, pointing behind them, and Janus pushed her back down. He shifted Lombardia's direction one way, then the other. It wasn't working. The smaller dragon was catching up.

"JANUS!"

An explosion again, this one striking Lombardia's wing and sending her into a tailspin. Somehow, Virginia clutched onto her straps, holding onto the chair for dear life. They were out of control, tumbling thru the air wildly, Lombardia crying out in pain. _We should never have let her come._

More explosions, most missing now because while Lombardia wasn't trying to evade them, her out of control flight made it nearly impossible for Talyn to predict where she would be. Virginia caught brief glimpses of her comrade's faces. Saw Janus struggling to hold on, being pulled sideways and backwards. Saw disaster approaching from above, then below, then above again.

Then Janus disappeared, thrown from Lombardia's back in a moment of twisting terror. She reached out where he'd gone and felt Clive and Gallows grabbing her, holding her back. She was screaming his name, trying to break free, praying that he'd manage to catch hold of Lombardia somehow. Praying that he'd escape like he always had before.

She barely noticed it when Lombardia crashed.

.oOo.

It had happened entirely too fast. One moment spinning out of control like a top. The next, flying out, high and far, tossed into the air like a tuft of fluff on the wind. _More like a pebble off a mountain,_ he corrected himself, hand clutching the Dark Spear as he plummeted. Far away from him now, he could see Lombardia, still out of control, headed straight for the mountain side. He howled in pain as the dragon struck, bounced and fell down, into the sea of sand below.

_She can't be dead. I'd know if she was dead._ That was his only comfort and it was a damned small one. Even if she wasn't dead, he was in no position to help her. He was, for that matter, very likely to be dead in a few minutes if he didn't think of a way out of this one.

Fortunately, his body didn't need him to actively think of the answer to his problem. The shift hurt, always had and probably always would, but he was profoundly grateful for it. The all too human flesh gave way to that other form, a shape he knew could survive practically everything thrown at it. Even, he hoped, being dropped into the Sea of Sand.

As the grains closed over him, though, he had to wonder exactly how he was going to get out of this mess. His memories of that time before Yggdrassil fell were enough to tell him that he knew how to swim. One did _not_, however, swim in the Sea of Sand.

He corrected himself as he struck living flesh. Monsters swam in those depths, crawled thru the sand and attacked unwary vessels. Monsters that were often as big as large houses, if not bigger. Monsters that could, if he were careful, provide him with an escape.

Clutching onto the creature's body, he let himself be carried to the surface. It barely noticed him and he was just fine with that. He needed to reach land, preferably land where he could get to Virginia's crash site. _She's still alive._ He knew that much and could only pray that he wasn't fooling himself.

A bit of persuasion, in the form of the Dark Spear pricking the creature's hide got it to flee the small, annoying, pain until it came close to a beach nearest to the spot where Lombardia had gone down. He leapt off, then. "So long and thanks for the ride," he yelled after it. Then he turned, intending to head after Virginia and bloody well rescue the wench.

Only to walk straight into Talyn's leg.

.oOoOoOo.

It was dark. Her head ached. She was almost certain her arm was broken. On the other hand, she was alive and that was something she didn't intend to argue with. "Clive? Gallows? Jet?" She almost called for Janus, but remembered in time that he'd been thrown clear. _He's alive, though. I know he is._ She wasn't sure how she knew, but it was a certainty as deep set in her as her ability to fire her ARMs. Or his, for that matter.

Clive's voice came first, strained and muffled. "I'm alive. I'm reasonably sure Gallows is too, as his head is on top of mine. He is, however, unconscious."

"You have it good," Jet grumbled, his voice even more muffled. "I have the rest of him on top of me. And _your_ foot in my stomach, Virginia."

She would have moved the offending limb, but movement seemed impossible for the moment, because apparently she was tangled up in Gallows' legs. "Why is it the biggest, heaviest and most difficult to maneuver member of our party is the one who gets thrown on top of us?" she asked plaintively. "_And_ knocked out?"

"Perhaps you are just lucky?" The voice was Lombardia's. Tense and weak, it was the voice of a creature fighting to hide its weakness. "Count yourselves truly fortunate that I was able to reshape myself around you before we struck."

Realizing that their companion was hurt, as or more than they were, Virginia struggled to pull free of Gallows' limbs. "Are you going to be all right?"

"I have taken worse in battle. Not a lot worse and I will be glad, very glad, to be out of these sands and resting. Yet I believe, given time, I will be well." Virginia realized they were moving, very slowly. "Get yourselves in order, just in case we are attacked. I do not think we will be, however. The currents of the Sea have carried us far from our landing spot and my child and his new master may not be able to find us. Or realize we have survived, for that matter."

Virginia nodded, though the gesture was pointless. Untangling herself from Gallows made her want to scream, the pain in her broken arm about all that she could bear. Still, with him unconscious, only their supplies of healing fruit would be able to help her, their magic almost as powerful as Gallows' strongest healing spells.

At last she was free and able to help Jet. Then Clive, too, was out from under the snoring Baskar. "As long as he's making _that_ noise," Virginia noted sourly, "he can't be too badly hurt." She slipped a berry into his mouth, forced him to swallow. As he sputtered to awareness, she called out to Lombardia. "We're up and ready. Will we be landing soon?"

"We are just leaving the sands." Light flickered above them and metal screeched. "Ahhh. I pray you will not need me for a long while. I _must_ rest."

The group climbed out and onto the hard rock of a small spur of land that Clive identified as part of the railway. Which meant that they should be able to get back to civilization. She picked up Janus' ARMs and held it.

"Virginia," Clive said, gently and she knew what he was going to say. She shook her head. "We all saw him fall."

"He's got that demon form," she pointed out, clutching the weapon in her hands tightly. "He can survive it. He _has_ survived. I know it."

The others looked at each other and Jet said, finally, "If he is, then we'll find him. Or he'll find us."

.oOoOoOo.

**** "I am not askin' much of ya. Do it, and I will not only let you live, but will share some of my power with ya. You are not as strong as I, no, but I kin feel it in ya. The ambition that burns like fire. The need for strength that consumes you."

The only thing consuming Janus right that moment was a longing to punch his own smug face right in the jaw. His twin was really making him hate the sight of himself, expression so certain of its owner's superiority that he had to wonder why Virginia had ever trusted him. _Or maybe it's because of who this guy is? We're not the same. I'm sure of _that_ much._ The other man's speech alone proved that much "All I want," he told the man standing over him, Dark Spear to his throat, "is t'be left alone. Let me go n' I won't bother you." It wasn't easy to keep up the charade, but he didn't want the other man to realize how much he understood.

It came as no surprise that his twin didn't agree with that idea. "I think not. You are one not t'be trusted. Ya betray those ya do not care for easily, and ya care mostly for yerself." Thin lips curled derisively. "I know you like I know m'self, after all. An' I know you cannot be allowed t'wander entirely free."

Janus sighed. It had been worth a shot, trying to squirm out of his twin's plans for him. "What makes ya think I can get th' guardians offa them, anyway? They're likely to make a fuss, y'know."

"Ya have traveled with them. Ya have gained that foolish girl's trust. Think of something." Thin lips curled in a derisive smile that did not reach the eyes and the other Janus pressed his Dark Spear closer, so that its point pricked even Janus' demonic skin. "And do not think t' betray me, little copy of mine. Or you will once more taste the power of m' blade."

"Yeah, yeah. Wuhtevah." Janus got to his feet, rolling his eyes. His twin couldn't even maintain the speech pattern for fifteen minutes. Who did he think he was fooling?. "I get yer point. Or I will, if'n I make trouble fer ya.."

"Your pretty little Drifter will get it as well, if you fail me." Janus' twin gazed at him and smiled as the statement hit home. "Ya know her well enough. As long as she has th' Guardians to aid her, she will feel confident enough t' attack. Without them, she will know she is outnumbered."

Somehow, Janus managed _not_ to say that even without the Guardians on her side Virginia would probably try her damnedest to stop his twin from whatever cruelties he was plotting. "I gotcha. Just one thing, how'm I supposed t'find her?" He knew the answer to that question, but he wondered if his twin did.

The other Janus shrugged. "I neither know, nor care. You are a resourceful man, for all that you are merely my copy. You will resolve th' problem."

"Guess maybe I will," Janus answered agreeably. "Don't suppose you'n Talyn could give me a lift?"

To Be Continued...


	9. Chapter 8: Devil and the Deep Gold Sands

**The Persistence of Memory **  
By  
Deborah J. Brown

A Wild Arms III Alternate Universe story: Wild Arms III is copyrighted to RPG Dreamers and Sony.

* * *

**_Chapter 8: Between the Devil and the Deep Gold Sands _**

"Janus!"

She grabbed him around the neck, embracing him, holding on tightly, forgetting herself in her relief at seeing him alive and well. For a brief second he hesitated, then his arms wrapped around her and he buried his face in her hair for a moment before pulling away. "Hey there, Ginny m'love. I'm glad to see you too, but don't you think you're getting a bit carried away?" His hands released her and gently pushed her away.

It startled her a bit. He'd never refused any affection she offered him so firmly. If anything, he'd always seemed pleased to accept it. She blinked up at him and wondered if she were being tricked. That other Janus had looked entirely too much like the one with whom she'd traveled. What if this was him? Only two things made her sure that it wasn't. His speech patterns, so very different from that other Janus' and her Guardians' silence. Still, "How did you find us?" she asked as her companions left the fire to join them.

Laughter crinkled his eyes and echoed in the darkness of the hills around them. "Ginny, m'love. That's not a very good test, you know. He ought to know we're linked."

She sighed. "I suppose so." A quick glance at the others, asking for help and Gallows whispered in her ear. She blinked at him, not sure if Janus was going to appreciate being embarrassed like that, but still asked, "All right. What happened to you just before we met?" She was reasonably sure the other Janus couldn't know about that.

He winced and muttered the answer. At her request for a repeat, he snapped, "I was turned into a pincushion by a quiller," he grumbled and it both amused and relieved her to note the annoyance in his tone. "You just _had_ to choose that?" he asked, glaring at Gallows.

"Hey, it works," the Baskar answered, shrugging. "C'mon. Why don't you tell us what happened? You okay?"

"As okay as I'm going to be for a bit," Janus answered quietly. "Frankly, what I need is a bottle of Baskar wine after that bit of fun and games."

Regretfully, Virginia sighed. "You'll have to make do with beer Oh!" He drew out a bottle of the wine that she remembered with a certain fondness. "Now that's what I like about you, Janus. You think ahead."

.oOoOoOo.

Janus left the campsite quietly, the bag he was carrying clinking only slightly as he moved. His companions didn't move, all four snoring in their bedding as if they'd been drugged. _Nothing quite like Baskar wine to give you a good night's sleep. Especially Baskar wine with a touch of sleeping powder._ "Sorry, love," he whispered. "I don't have any good choices again."

Somewhere, only too close, his twin waited and he had very little time in which to act. He was glad he'd convinced the other Janus that it wouldn't be safe to bring Talyn too close, since the young dragon's mother might sense him. Admittedly, Lombardia was apparently still recovering from her injuries, far away from Virginia's campsite, but his twin didn't have to know that. Talyn hadn't argued either, suggesting he wasn't too pleased with being a slave. Otherwise he would have reminded that other Janus that he could sense Lombardia as well.

All of which gave Janus time to do what he had to do. He looked up at the moon, just past full and not yet bright enough to make the landscape clear, then set the bag on the ground and sat down with it. Twelve rectangular tablets, made of a stony material he couldn't identify, with Baskar symbols that he didn't understand.

Fortunately, he didn't need to. "I know you can hear me," he said quietly. "I want to make a deal." There was no answer, but he could feel their attention on him. "I think you know that other me is going to cause trouble. That he's going to be a danger to everyone. That you know who he is. Help me get rid of him."

An image flickered. A wolf, huge and slavering, formed in front of him. :_Of all of us_: the beast said, voice echoing inside his head:_You and I are the closest kin. You are not human, not of Filgaia except in the most basic of senses. But you are filled with desire. Your passions burn within you, until they seem ready to burn the very life out of your flesh._: Lucied, guardian of Desire, stalked closer. :_You know what you ask? No mortal has ever held the power of all twelve of us. No mortal _can.:

"My demon form?"

:_Is not compatible._: Ruby eyes gazed into Janus', intent and familiar. He knew that gaze. Had seen much the same in the mirror. Raging, angry and needy, the eyes of someone who would not let go. :_If you face him, carrying all our power within you, you will certainly destroy him. But you will be destroyed as well._:

All his memories were of lies and double dealing. Yet in this, Janus sensed, he could _not_ do anything but speak the truth. "If that's what it takes. I don't want to die. I'm _terrified_ of dying. I admit that. But I will, if it makes her safe." There, he'd said it. Admitted what he could _not_ admit to her face. "Give me your power. All the power you have. And I'll turn it on that bastard. Send him back to where he came from."

A long moment of silence. Lucied eyed him, then seemed to be communing with its fellows. Slowly it spoke. :_You will only have one blow with which to strike. One blow with which to destroy him. Choose your moment wisely._:

Janus picked up the Mediums and, very carefully, stored them away in the bag. "Believe me. I intend to."

"Intend to do what?"

.oOo.

Virginia gazed at Janus, scared and not even a bit angry. In the moonlight, half shadowed by the nearby rocks, he almost seemed the demon whose form he sometimes wore. "I thought something was wrong when you didn't drink as much as I did." She started forward, then stopped as he raised his Dark Spear. "Why are you doing this?"

For a moment he was silent, gazing at her. It was impossible to see his eyes, impossible to read his expression. Impossible to tell what he was thinking. Then he shrugged, swinging the Dark Spear up to his shoulder, hand on hip in that old insouciant way of his. "Well now, Ginny. I should have thought that was obvious. What I always do. Betrayal. And I'm so _very_ good at it."

It hurt. To pretend otherwise was impossible. She wanted to protest, to stop him before he said another word, but Janus was stubbornly continuing. "Come on, Princess. You know who I am. You know _what_ I am. I can't do right. It was stupid of you to think I could." He turned, scorn in his voice. "That's the trouble with you, Princess. You're too damned naïve. Even now I bet you're thinking I'm just trying to keep you out of it. That I'm trying to protect you."

"Janus"

"Well think again. That other me? He's promised me a whole lot of power if I help him." He was silent a moment. "Not that I believe him, but he thinks I do. Thinks I'm so desperate for what crumbs he's pleased to give me that I'll do anything for him. It's the perfect opportunity to turn the tables on him and take it all back for myself. Every last memory and all that power that he's walking around with."

There was another long silence. Virginia simply didn't know what to say. Tears were burning in her eyes and her chest felt hollow and cold. Around them, a chill wind blew, tossing dust into the air and whistling mournfully amid the rocks. "I won't let you," she said finally. "I won't let you do this."

"What are you going to do to stop me? You don't have a Medium anymore. Just your own skill with ARMs and your innocence and your justice. You think that's enough?" His voice held no emotion, as cold and unfeeling as the rocks that surrounded them. "Don't make me laugh."

She drew her ARMs, the pistols rising into position. "If that's the only I way I can convince you," she said quietly. "All right."

.oOoOoOo.

"Ya took fah too long."

Janus shrugged as he climbed up the trail to the spot where his twin waited with Talyn. "It's a long walk n' I had t'stop off fer some supplies on the way," he explained, eyeing the other man cautiously. "But I did whatcha wanted. Had a bit of an argument t'get 'em, so I hope you appreciate th' effort." He held up the bag holding the mediums. "Like I said. Mission accomplished."

An expression of satisfaction crossed the other Janus' face. "Throw them into the sea." As Janus stepped a bit closer, the man moved backwards and gestured towards the edge of the cliff. "Now."

"Doncha want to see them? Y'really trust me that much?"

The other Janus growled a curse. "Keep back. I do not _need_ to see them to feel the Guardians power on them. Throw them into the sea or I will have Talyn throw you along with that bag."

Glancing around the landscape, at the sandy brown rock with a few, very few, sparse dry plants growing in the shade, Janus shrugged and went to the edge of the cliff nearest to the Sea of Sand below. "Whutevah ya want, boss man."

The bag flew over the edge and disappeared, much to the other Janus' obvious relief. "And now, your reward."

Janus turned and drew his Dark Spear, even as his twin moved at him with the real one. "Yeah, I was sorta of countin' on you to do that." He jumped aside and blocked the strike.

"Indeed," his twin growled. "As Ah knew ya would expect this attack. Yet it is useless fer ya to fight, little copy. Yer mind is not whole. Yer power is not whole and the weapon ya wield is nothin' compared to th' original."

Dodging again, twisting under the blade and kicking his twin in the stomach, Janus grinned wryly. "Yeah? I'll tell ya somethin' else that I don't have that ya do. A farking stupid hick accent." He dropped his own, faked one. "Really. Was it because Dario and Romero talked that way that you thought I did, too? Those idiots probably thought you were making fun of them the way I used to. Didn't they?"

A startled expression crossed Janus' twin's face. "You"

"Comes to that. You were faking it too. Because _you_ are no more Janus Cascade than that oversized lump of metal behind you. Less so than _I_ am, you ignorant bastard. Even a hick knows how to use a goddamn contraction."

His twin stared at him for a moment before coming at him again. "What? You dare." The Dark Spear's tip cut across Janus' arm, thrust forward towards his chest. He flipped quickly out of the way, landing in a crouch at Talyn's feet. Much to his relief, the dragon didn't move - seemingly asleep or disinterested in aiding his master.

Janus considered the other thoughtfully, even as he rolled under the next strike.. "I'll grant you this much," he said softly. "We haven't had anything the way of real interaction, have we? And you don't have my memories to tell you that you were screwing up. Do you, _Siegfried_?"

Once again the two men moved away from each other. "You are improved in your use of the Dark Spear," Siegfried said, his body flickering with blue light. A moment later he was armored in thick blue metal. Janus could see the man's chin, though, and knew it as he knew his own. _Which, since it_ is_ my own, I ought to._ The body Siegfried wore was the true physical form that had once been his, but overwritten with Siegfried's knowledge and memories. Enlarged upon, too, because he wasn't nearly _that_ tall or muscular. He wondered, briefly, if his own true self was still somewhere beneath all that, but decided that - for the moment - avoiding having his head chopped off was more important.

As Janus ducked the blow, Siegfried laughed. "I should have realized I would be unable to fool the expert in Janus Cascade. I have to wonder, though, that you did not tell your pretty little slut."

It wasn't hard to recognize an effort at distraction, especially of the sort that he was liable to use himself. Janus ignored the comment, slashing once more and wincing as his blade struck metal and rebounded. "Blast it. Should have kept my big mouth shut so you'd stay in my shape. Least then I could cut you."

"It would not matter," Siegfried replied, his weapon slicing past Janus' shoulder, missing by mere inches. "My weapon is the true one. I am older than you. Crueler than you. And far more powerful."

"The difference, though, is that _Janus_ isn't alone."

.oOoOoOo.

_"Damn it, girl. Why won't you make it easy on me?" _

_"Because I can't. I won't let you go after him alone. I heard what you said to the Guardians. You'll die. You can't handle the power. Not all of it." _

_"Better just me, than all of us. And of all of us, who has better right to face him? You know who he really is? Siegfried. Pretending to be me because it gives him a cover story." _

_"I didn't know. But that doesn't change anything. He has to be stopped and you _can't_ do it by yourself." _

_"Can't you see I'd do anything to keep you safe?" _

_"Lock me away in a cage? Clip my wings? Hide me in a hole to never see the sun? We all have to take our risks, Janus. Let me take mine." _

_"I" _

_"Besides. I have a plan And something much better for when you fight Siegfried than the Mediums." _

.oOoOoOo.

Virginia stepped onto the mesa from Lombardia's back, her companions behind her. "Sorry to take so long, Janus. Jet had a bit of a problem with all that wine you gave him." While the white haired boy muttered irately, Janus shrugged, expression saying that it was only to be expected. She turned her gaze on Siegfried. "Lombardia's taking back her child. Fight or give up, we're not letting you do anything to this world anymore." As she spoke, the great dragon wrapped her forearms around Talyn and held him tight, carrying him away from the battleground. Virginia hoped that would be enough. She didn't want to hurt the young dragon.

The ancient metal demon laughed. "Foolish child. Even alone, my power is greater than yours. Your Mediums have been stolen away and sent far from your reach. Or had you not yet noticed?"

At her side, the Guardians sent waves of energy into Virginia and, she knew, into the others. She touched the three Mediums she wore, caressing the stones. "Guess again, Siegfried. Janus brought you a set of fakes, given an aura of power by the Guardians. We are still their Chosen and we will still fight you."

Siegfried lowered his head a moment, obviously taken aback. At the same time, Janus put a whiny look on his face. "Now, Ginny, you promised! I get first crack. You're not even supposed to be here unless I'm in trouble."

Some things just didn't change. Virginia gave the man a glare. "Oh sure. You just want to hog all the glory," she grumbled. "Fine. Do it your way." He bowed, grinning, then moved towards Siegfried again.

The two men circled, came at each other, clashed and dodged backwards. Even to Virginia's untrained eye, though, it was clear that Siegfried was the better swordsman. That his armor made him nearly untouchable. That he was winning. _Damn it, Janus, cry uncle before I have to interfere._

"Fool. I say again, even _with_ the Dark Spear you could not defeat me." Siegfried obviously recognized his superiority, his tone filled with cold hatred. "Give up, surrender, and perhaps I shall let you, and your little slut, live."

.oOo.

Janus grimaced. "You know, you're not winning any friends with that kind of talk," he said quietly. "Besides, of all the things you could call her, slut is about the furthest from being an accurate description. She can be too innocent to be believed; she can be a constant thorn in the side; she talks in her sleep until you're ready to do anything to stop her from chattering; She's annoying, aggravating and bossy as all hell." He struck, his rage behind the blow, and for the first time cut through the armor. "She's also my Princess and I won't let you call her names. Even when they're completely wrong."

There was a startled gasp. Siegfried apparently hadn't expected Janus to be able to strike home quite so hard. Still, he backed away a bit. "You are still outmatched. Your anger strengthens you, but it also makes you foolish. All I need to do is threaten your Princess and your anger will overwhelm your good sense."

Now that Janus had to agree with. Siegfried was moving at Virginia, rushing her way so quickly that he was on her before anyone could react. He twisted the girl around, blocking Janus' attacks with her body. "Now then, where were we?"

"Janus. Don't let him"

He looked at her, feeling the fool. He'd gone and opened his big mouth, revealed to his enemy his weakest point and had had it immediately attacked. "Hush, Ginny. Don't shed any _tears_ over me. Just keep me in your _memory_. Okay?" Her expression shifted, sudden understanding at war with the fear in her eyes. He smiled, reassuringly, at her as he set his weapon down slowly, point thrust into the dirt, hilt just within reach. "Let her go, Siegfried. Try to hurt her and you'll pay."

Laughter echoed. "How amusing you are. Of course I will let her go. I can always kill her later." Siegfried raised his weapon, power forming around it an eye blinding darkness. Then he flung it straight for Janus.

Even had he wanted to, Janus couldn't have evaded the weapon. For the third time in his life, the Dark Spear thrust deep into his chest and tried to take everything he was into it. This time, however, it had a fight on its non-existent hands, as deep within him, the Teardrop of Memory began to burn bright.

.oOo.

Even knowing what was happening, even being fairly sure that he'd be all right, Virginia was terrified for Janus. The expression on his face, half hidden by the blue light that surrounded his body, was terrible. He was in agony, fallen to his knees, clutching the hilt of the real Dark Spear where it had entered his torso. "What are you waiting for?" he screamed at her. "An invitation?"

_Damnit, Janus,_ she thought angrily, _when we discussed the plan it did _not_ include you disarming Siegfried by using your own body for target practice!_ The Teardrop of Memory, only somewhat useful to a normal human, could heal a creature like Siegfried - or Janus - rapidly, but it struck her that he was putting the thing to the test unnecessarily.

Still, this wasn't the time to worry over Janus, even though a part of her longed to scream and run to him. She turned to face Siegfried, calling on the power of her Mediums, feeling the rage of the Guardians as her own. He'd hurt this world, intended to hurt it all the more. Intended to make it his own. She would not let him.

At her side, Virginia's old and valued companions were releasing their own Mediums' powers, lashing out at the armored being with almost as much rage as her own. A part of her puzzled over her own fury, even after spell after spell lashed the enemy and she realized that it was her fear for Janus that was driving her anger. Siegfried had already taken far too much from her newest companion. Had already caused him far too much pain. Granted, Janus had earned much of that pain, had positively asked for it in some ways. Yet the Janus that she'd come to know, that she was coming to care about as much as - if not more than - her older friends had shown her the other side of himself. Had earned, if not outright forgiveness, at least a chance.

She pulled her power together. Focused all her outraged sense of justice, focused all her growing feelings, all her courage and all she was into her strongest Guardian and called Justine forth. _You will not harm Filgaia again. You will not hurt _Janus_ again. I _swear_ it! _

The blast from the Guardian's power blew Siegfried apart before he could even scream.

.oOoOoOo.

"Ow. OW OW OW OUCH!"

"Don't be such a baby." Virginia's hands on him were tender, despite her aggravated tone. It was just that having been impaled on an oversized sword with delusions of grandeur hurt. Not even the Teardrop of Memory could make the pain any easier to bear. She stroked his forehead as Clive tugged the blade out a bit further. "Want Gallows to put you to sleep for this?"

"It ain't a quill," he managed to grumble. "OUCH! Clive, don't play with the damned thing. Just pull it out." He could barely see for the blur of sweat, tears and the light of the Teardrop that was keeping him from dying.

"Are you sure?" Clive's hand stopped tugging then, at his nod, pulled hard and fast.

Janus was sure his scream could be heard all the way in Laxisland, far to the north. Then the Tear did its work once more and he relaxed. Now that was better. Much better. He lay back into Virginia's arms for a minute or so, savoring the feel of her. Then, realizing he was pushing his luck, he got to his feet. "Sorry. I keep doing that."

She gave him a puzzled look, as if not sure what he meant, which was just plain silly. "Are you all right?"

The snarky answer that he wanted to make was interrupted as he felt the first surges of memories hit him. _Siegfried's dead. Everything he stole from me. Coming back._ Memories flickered. The fall of Yggdrassil and Pete's transformation into Lucio. His attempt to find out what had happened, which had lead to his waking the Prophets from their temporary sleep. His agreement to help them set it right. And his slow realization - even as he began to fall himself, with only Lucio to hold him back - that their plan would be no better, if not positively worse than, what had happened when Yggdrassil had fallen. Worse, the realization that he no longer cared. That the only thing he wanted was to be free of them and to live the way he wanted to. Attempting to break with them. Only to discover that he could never be free.

"Janus!"

Virginia's voice drew him back to the present, tried to break him away from the knowledge of all his dirty, selfish, little deeds. How could she bear to look at him? How could he bear to look at her? He hated her. He loved her. He didn't know what to think or how to feel. "I guess we'd better go our separate ways, huh?"

.oOo.

The question was startling, so out of the blue that it took Virginia a moment to realize what was happening. Killing Siegfried had freed what remaining pieces of Janus the metal demon had contained. All of that, returned to him, must have been enough to convince him that they could never manage to work together. Or be anything else to each other. She took the Dark Spear from Clive and walked to Janus. "Here. You'll be wanting this. We'll have to go back to camp for your ARM, though."

Gold eyes blinked down at her and she continued. "If you honestly think we can't cooperate. If you honestly don't want to be with us there's nothing I can do to change that." She looked up at him, earnestly. "But"

"But?" His voice cracked a little, uncertainty at its depths.

"But you don't really have to go back to your old life, you know. The Prophets are gone. They can't force you to do anything anymore. So you can do what you want and go where you want. If you want to go with us" she glanced at the others, worriedly. Jet and Gallows both shrugged and Clive nodded his approval. "If you want to go with us, you can. It's not like you're tied to us. You can leave anytime you want."

"I" The hesitation was more obvious this time. The despair at war with hope and desire.

With a smile, Virginia continued, "Though, maybe you don't want to. I couldn't blame you. After all, I'm an innocent. A thorn in the side. I talk in my sleep until you want to throttle me. I'm annoying and a constant aggravation. I'm bossy as all hell."

A flicker of humor crossed his features. "I don't want to _throttle_ you when you talk in your sleep," he muttered, but refused to elaborate. "And I don't mind being bossed about or any of the other things. But are you sure? You never will be able to trust me. Even _I_ don't trust me."

She grinned, triumphantly. "Well then, I'll just have to keep an eye on you. Won't I?"

.oOo.

He trailed behind her, feeling off-balance and uncertain of himself in a way that he wasn't used to. It was, however, a feeling he thought he'd better _get_ used to. Being around Virginia Maxwell might not be good for his health, considering her ability to draw trouble to her, but it certainly wasn't going to be dull.

Gallows slung an arm around his shoulder and announced, "I don't know about the rest of you, but _I_ think a celebration is in order. How about we go back to the colony and get some real Baskar wine? Instead of that slop Janus brought us last night."

No. Not dull at all.

The End


End file.
